Short jokes
How do fish get to school?
By the octobus.
What is a pedophile's favorite job?
The mall santa.
Why didn't the Japanese guy get a high five?
Logan Paul left him hanging.
How do you make a dead baby float?
1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby.
What do an angler fish and a pedophile have in common?
They both like to hide in dark places, look creepy, and like to lure small creatures.
There are 10 types of people in this world.
Those that know binary and those that don't.
What did the turtle do when he ran out of gas?
He went to the Shell station.
Two silk worms got in a fight. It ended in a tie.
How do you sink an American battleship?
Have the French build it.
I like my woman like I like my coffee: in a big sack on top of a donkey.
My wife said if I don't get off the computer, she's gonna slam my head into the keyboard, but I think I'll ajlkfsdhnvkwr;anhf.
What's the only gun that doesn't exist in Africa?
A water gun.
What do you call someone smart and dead?
Stephen Hawking...
What does a killer say in the shower in the morning?
- Splish splash, I'm gonna slash...
Do you guys know how to make a hoe in Minecraft?
You pick it up off the street.
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
The suicide squad.
Why was the clown sad?
He broke his funny bone. PS: "funny bone" is not actually a bone.
When you go to your friend's house to fuck her brother, but realize he's your brother from your mom's side.
What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature? -- Tequila Mockingbird.
Can some hot depressed suicidal guy give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die?