Short jokes
Why do people come on here just to say that we should not be making these jokes? They literally look this shit up just to complain.
What do the Spanish people call child abuse? Pedrophile.
See, morbid humor is just like water, not everyone gets it.
Why do priests play Geometry Dash? Cuz they can beat Demons.
What's the difference between WW2 kamikaze planes and 9/11?
One of the missions succeeded.
what's a depressed person's favorite game?
hangman
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Because they don't have Mother's and Father's day.
Yesterday I wanted to look up the term "procrastination".
I swear, I'll do it tomorrow.
Me: *gets down on one knee*
Girlfriend: OMG, it's finally happening!
Me: *falls over*
Girlfriend: The poison is kicking in.
When my grandpa was 65, he decided to run a mile a day to keep fit.
He's 70 now, and we have no idea where he is.
Robin Hood [hands over stolen fortune]: here you are, my poor friend.
Friend: Wow thanks, I'm rich!
Robin [narrows eyes]: You're what?
What's Technoblade's favorite show and is the only one he can relate to?
Peppa Pig: Peppa Dies!
I got jealous when my phone dies.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Little Johnny is smokin' hard, The sun looks like Mountain Dew.
Why is the Titanic good at baseball? Because it sinks it.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding only half a worm.
How do you know a cannibal picnic is over?
Everyone's eaten.
Joe mama so fat she went wearing high heels and came back in flip flops.
Sister: You're adopted.
Me: At least they wanted me, they must feel terribly bad cuz they had to keep you :(
Russia and Ukraine are running a marathon. Who do you think won? Russia did. Russia gave Ukraine a migraine.