Short jokes
Your mom is so fat that she thought Eminem is a candy.
I will remember my auntie's last words: "If you shoot me, your p-nis is small!"
(gun shot)
I was on a flight to California, but my next in the Empire State Building.
Why can orphans travel around so much? They never get homesick.
Am I a guard or a guava?
What's the difference between a rock and a woman?
The flat ones get skipped.
Ever heard of the game T.T.2: 9/11? That game was bomb.
Uranus spins on its side.
Better Friday the 13th than Monday the 13th.
What's the one thing that you don't have but celebrities do?
Lots of fans.
When you split Uranus in half, it is "ur-anus." That's why it has a butts joke. Weird.
What did the flag say to the pole?
Nothing, he just waved.
Your mom is so ugly even Shrek ran away from her.
It's getting near midnight, and I can already hear Big Ben. He's upstairs pumping the wife.
Bleach!
Today, me and my best friend went to the Grand Canyon. He was taking up all the space by the edge, and I told him to back up. R.I.P. to him.
What is white and fluffy? A peelo.
What has ten children crying, naked, and screaming for their parents?
My big green pedo machine.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
What did one male whale say to the other male whale?
"She's gonna blow!"