Short jokes
What do you call it when a chameleon won't change colors?
A reptile dysfunction.
Why do sharks never attack lawyers? -- Professional courtesy.
How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon?
They'll tell you.
Why is the Titanic good at baseball? Because it sinks it.
How do you know a cannibal picnic is over?
Everyone's eaten.
Joe mama so fat she went wearing high heels and came back in flip flops.
Yo mama's so fat that when she went sky diving, she caused another global extinction.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding only half a worm.
Russia and Ukraine are running a marathon. Who do you think won? Russia did. Russia gave Ukraine a migraine.
What is the opposite of a lady finger?
Answer: Mentos.
A cement mixer has collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.
What's the difference between depression and your ex?
Depression fucks you harder.
My dad went to go get milk. He came back 7 years later, and we had to send him back because he got the wrong milk.
Olivia Rodrigo
What's Technoblade's favorite show and is the only one he can relate to?
Peppa Pig: Peppa Dies!
Yesterday I wanted to look up the term "procrastination".
I swear, I'll do it tomorrow.
Why do orphans hate knock knock jokes?
Because there is never anyone at the door.
Why couldn't the orphan buy chips?
They were all family sized.
how do you cut of a hillbilly's dick?
kick his sister in the jaw
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Little Johnny is smokin' hard, The sun looks like Mountain Dew.