Short jokes
They call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me poor and ugly.
My grandma always loved to craft clothing. She dyed last week.
Coooper
"Hey Kels, what's on your arm?"
"Oh, that was the cat."
"We don't have a cat..."
"Oh..."
What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.
Okjlpppilfrkfft?
You're so poor, you like postcards for food.
Why does Johnny Sins cover his pants, but it doesn't work?
Because the long, hard thing can't chirp down.
Tell it to your parents and friends!
Why did the rapper carry an umbrella?
In case of ill rhymes!
I had sex with my dog once, and my cat hissed at me for not doing her.
Why does my brother have no mom?
I asked my zombie boyfriend, "Does he have a brain?" Because he's stupid asf.
What do you call a cow that is secret?
AnonyMOOus.
I'm okay with giving babies iPads, as long as the baby has anencephaly.
You can't get brain rot if you don't have a brain!
Why do potatoes make good detectives?
Because they keep their eyes peeled!
Why do police never put an orphan in prison? It's too much like a home.
My friend's 4-year-old daughter made up this joke.
What kind of poo should you put in your hair?
Shampoo.
Why did Germany win World War Two? Wait—that's not right... um... excuse me while I look up who won the war...
*disconnected*
Kroll es heterosexual.
Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Eggs don’t cum.