Short jokes

What do you call pedophiles on a beach? Pedos in Speedos.

What's the difference between cake and pie?

πr2, cakes are round.

Why did Kayla go to the river when she was sad?

To drown herself.

To my best friend, my brother is like a spider. She chose to kill him straight away. That's why she is my friend, after all!

Don't tell a Titanic joke, or you'll sink to a whole new low.

I only believe in 12.5% of the bible. I'm an EIGTHeyist.

I guess you could say Stephen Hawking is a dead meme.

Me: (pointing up in the air) "Everybody listen up, this is a robbery!"

Girl: "Dude, this is a library."

Me: "Oh." (screwing on a silencer)

Confucius say, "man who go to sleep with itchy bum, wake up with smelly finger."

What animal is best at hitting a baseball? -- A bat.

Daughter: "Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion?" Father: "Ask your sister." Daughter: "I don't have a..."

This one kid I knew had Down syndrome, and he turned a mirror upside down trying to get rid of it.

bradley

What do you call an old black person? Farming antique.

What do you call a depressed tree?

A wood cutter.

I drove by the gun shop the other day and everything was half off for back to school.

My wife called me a pedo. That's a big word for a 6 year old.

Yo hairline was used as the blueprint for the Great Wall of China.

Why do sharks never attack lawyers? -- Professional courtesy.

Yo mama's so fat that when she went sky diving, she caused another global extinction.