Short jokes
Why are there no Walmarts in Palestine?
There are Targets everywhere.
What do you call a person with Down syndrome in the military?
Special Forces.
What does an orphan call a kidnapping?
A surprise adoption.
What's the difference between Al Qaeda and Ms. Frizzle? One flew a plane into the Twin Towers; one flew a bus into the school.
Last time I talked to my girlfriend, she was yelling at me to put the hammer down.
My girlfriend dumped me today. Apparently, I don't stand up for her in fights. I don't care. She used to push me around all the time.
Why was Michael Jackson kicked out of boy scouts? He was up to a pack a day!
When a clock goes forward, it's tic-tac, but when Rommel goes backwards, it's tactic!
What’s green and orange and sits at the bottom of the swimming pool?
A baby with burst armbands.
When you have sex with a coworker but remember it's a family business.
A tiny psychic escaped from jail, and the news said there a small medium at large.
Stephen Hawking would be a bad Pokemon.
He'd always be paralyzed, and his only move would be tackle!
What is the most dangerous mountain? Kilimanjaro.
I love the smell of my F5 key. It's very refreshing.
I'm sorry for all the fish puns. I feel so GILL-ty.
Somebody told me a chemistry joke. I thought it was sodium funny, I slapped my neon that one.
What's the difference between a feminist and a pencil?
One of them has a POINT:)
What do you call a cow eating grass?
A Lawn Moo-er.
Girlfriends are just like AK47s; they always go off on you.
What is the highest number?
420.