Short jokes
What did the Chinese man say to his wife?
I'll chin you later.
Kobe couldn’t clutch up with the rift to go.
I was in Russia at a stand-up comedy performance about someone making fun of Putin, but the jokes were awful. The execution was nice, though.
BlessedBrian’s sense of humor is like a GPS without signal... LOST and going NOWHERE.
What did the phone receptionist at the suicide hotline tell the callers?
Hang in there!
Cardi B has very long nails.
You're so fat that when you got on the scales, they said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
"I put the tin foil in the microwave, ma!"
FNF: Beep bop.
Parappa: Cook those burgers and believe!
One day a son and his grandad were smoking.
Too bad only the sun was smoking. :)
I'd tell you a 9/11 joke, but it'd fly over your head and into the Twin Towers.
When your plane heads for New York...
Murueurx.
What was the last thing that went through PH's head?
Water and smoke.
Your mom and dad abandoned you because you're too ugly.
My girlfriend sent “a let’s break up text” right when I was done editing our pics.
"Bill? Bill?" Bill hears faintly in the distance.
Bill Nye snapped back into reality only to find he had peed all over the set.
Why couldn’t the guy make bubbles?
He couldn’t find the right solution.
How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?
About one third less than for a regular bulb.
Why don't pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?
They just wash up on shore.