Short jokes
How long does it take for a depressed person to change a light bulb?
5 days. & I’m pretty proud of myself.
Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who are they gonna cry to? Their parents?
I was reading the news and read that a kid killed his family, and when they interviewed him, he said he wanted to become Batman.
What fell down the tree first, the emo or the apple?
Guess what? The apple, because the emo got left hanging.
What do you call the worst joke ever?
Well, according to my mom, I am.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of kids.
When David lost his ID, I called him Dave. Where did Dave go during the bombing? Everywhere. Guess who came crawling back?
What do you call a FAT Man under 5'9"?
A JUMBO shrimp.
It was just a prank, and stop calling our humor "plane." In our opinion, it's fire.
How many white guys does it take to screw a lightbulb?
None. They hire me to do it.
I'm on a seafood diet, I see food and I eat it.
What is it called when a depressed person gets a stroke?
A stroke of luck :)
Hey girl, are your pants a mirror? 'Cause I can see myself in them.
What's the fastest thing on earth?
An Ethiopian with a McDonald's Voucher.
Just give him a smooch it’s better than the cooch - Dream
Why do orphans suck at GTA? Because they don't know how to be wanted.
Q: Why aren't there any Walmarts in Afghanistan?
A: Because there's a Target on every corner.
A woman just went through labor. She asked the doctor, "Was it a healthy delivery?" The doctor replies, "It wasn't delivery, it's DiGiorno."
What is worse than a baby getting hanged in a tree?
That same baby getting hanged in multiple trees.
My fucking life, cya.