Short jokes
What do women and chess have in common? When you sacrifice the females and replace them, you are more likely to win.
I'm on a seafood diet, I see food and I eat it.
Segma says, "32!"
Ligma Says, "And?"
Segma says, "Anding deez balls to your mouth."
When a cookie 🍪 wins a race, what will the crowd say?
“Chip Chip Hooray!”
What fell down the tree first, the emo or the apple?
Guess what? The apple, because the emo got left hanging.
What is the difference between a baby and a canoe?
I would never put a canoe in my garage.
Your momma's so fat she started "Fat Lives Matter". Meetings are everyday:
11 o'clock McDonald's, 12 o'clock KFC, 1 o'clock Pizza Hut.
Are you bleach? Because I want you inside of me.
What is it called when a depressed person gets a stroke?
A stroke of luck :)
Teacher: "You know you can't sleep in my class."
Boy: "I know. Maybe if you were a little quieter, I could."
KFC doesn't mean Kentucky Fried Chicken, it means "Kill Fat Children."
Sometimes my battery life has the same recognition as me :(
What is worse than a baby getting hanged in a tree?
That same baby getting hanged in multiple trees.
A friend of mine used to be morbidly obese, but after lots of exercise and hard work... We were able to lift his coffin.
My fucking life, cya.
What is black when it’s clean and white when it’s dirty?
Answer: A chalkboard.
What did the blind man say as he passed the fish stand?
"Hello Ladies!"
How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them if you keep reloading.
Night chat. #love you forever maybe until I die! 🌸
I see, you guys jokers are SANS-ational!