Short jokes
Your forehead is so big, it's a $20 taxi ride from your hairline to your eyebrows.
You're the type of person to play "Girl on Fire" during a funeral.
People: Stop invading Ukraine!
Putin: Ukraine? you mean Mykraine.
I told a diabetic boy to have sweet dreams, and he died the next morning.
What do you call a pregnant slave? A two for one deal.
I would like to say Hitler gave two fucks about his people.
But quite Anne frankly, I'd be lying.
What's the best thing about a blowjob?
- The silence.
What's the best way to remove gum from hair?
Cancer.
Covid said to stay 6 feet... I didn't think Kobe meant it literally.
I was walking this hot girl home, then she noticed me, then the walk turned into a run.
What does a baby and a hand grenade have in common?
They both make noise when you throw them.
A block of gold walked into a bar. The bartender said, “AU, get out!”
What’s a sheep’s favorite fruit?
A baaaaaaaanaaaaaana!
How do you turn a baby into a dog?
Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!
How do you make a baby astronaut sleep?
You rock-it!
When is a car not a car? When it turns into a driveway. 🥁
How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?
A buccaneer.
Confucius says, "Man who walks through airport door sideways with erection, is going to Bangkok."
What do you call a musician 👩🎤 who drinks soda and sings 🎤 at the same time?
A popsinger.
What's a convict's favorite chore?
Weeding.