Short jokes
Your hairline is so bad, it's not even McDonald's, it's Dixy Chicken!
If you kill someone, that's murder.
If you kill a family member, that's still murder.
If you kill a child, that's "child abuse."
What do you call the worst feeling ever?
Drinking Big before Mini. :)
I went to the super market one day and I saw a Caesar salad for 69 dollars. Next minute someone comes up to me and says, "Caesar deez nutz!"
Did you hear about the lesbians who are suing their contractor?
He used nails when they wanted tongue and groove.
Pro tip kids, you CAN hit an orphan because they can't cry to their parents!
Knock knock. Who's there? Hal. Hal who? Hal will you know if you don't open the door?
Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids?
To tie his kangaroo down, sport!
A butt saw the toilet and said, "Shit, I'm sick!"
My parents telling me: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
Me upset about my suicide attempt doesn't succeed.
Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?
Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?
If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?
"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."
I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
What do you call a stoner when horny?
A weed whacker!
I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"
What bee is terrible at flying? Kobe.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They can't find home.
The lunch lady gave me only one carrot. I didn't carrot all.
"My name must taste good; it's always in your mouth."
Q: What does encyclopedia mean by cut them in triple?
A: Encyclopedia, more like "An Cyclone Media!"