Short jokes
You're so slow, the sped kid is your tutor.
They say give a man an inch, he'll take a mile. What about women? They don't have dicks.
My girlfriend told me she used to be a Christian. I asked her why she isn't anymore and she said she liked the name Christina better.
Two baked beans traveled around Australia.
They both ended up in Cairns.
The Titanic is now a resort for fish.
I told a joke and someone said, "no one asked." Then I said, "no one would care to even ask."
What's the difference between Harry Potter and Anne Frank?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
Why can't an orphan get married? It doesn't have its parents' blessing.
what does an orphanage and a hospital have in common?
people go there to fix their mistakes.
Q. What do you call a person with Alzheimer's?
It doesn't matter. They'll forget what you said in thirty seconds anyway.
All aboard the Magic School Bus! We are going to New York. The second tower has been hit.
When the school shooter says, "Everybody get down!" and the autistic kid thinks it's Simon Says: 🙋♂️🙋♂️🙋♂️
Pornhub suggesting me MILF on Mother's Day...
What's the difference between saying "bloody" in America and in the U.K.?
In the U.K., it's a swear word.
In America, it's a family reunion.
What's the fastest thing on earth?
An Ethiopian with a McDonald's Voucher.
Did you hear about the new P. Diddy meal in McDonald's? It's a 56-year-old meat inside a 12-year-old bun.
Your momma's so fat she started "Fat Lives Matter". Meetings are everyday:
11 o'clock McDonald's, 12 o'clock KFC, 1 o'clock Pizza Hut.
Explain Bear is my favorite.
What is the difference between Drake and Carrie Underwood?
Carrie Underwood kissed a 12-year-old boy on the lips.
What's the difference between a Palestinian and SpongeBob's Sandy Cheeks?
One is living in a bubble, the other one in rubble.