Short jokes
Don't you just hate it when you're the first one to fall asleep at a sleepover, and then you hear, "Prank em, John?"
What is a briefcase?
A short lawsuit.
When you can’t see your adopted joke pop up, it’s the same as asking your adopted friend where their parents are and never finding it.
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?
Pizza won't cut itself.
How long does it take for a depressed person to change a light bulb?
5 days. & I’m pretty proud of myself.
I’m like an escalator because I’m always letting people down.
I would tell you a recycling joke.
But I’m afraid it’d just be reused over and over.
Friend #1: "What's your favourite thing about trees?"
Friend #2: "Apples"
Me: "I can hang myself in them."
What is big and bouncy and walks on stilts?
Why do orphans hate school?
No field trips. Parent signature_____________.
Why are orphans not boomerangs? Because they never come back.
POV there’s a school shooting.
American: First time, European?
European: Yeah, you American?
American: No, not my first time.
Did you know that a lot of graves are put in churchyards?
Yeah, they're pretty holey.
What's the fastest thing on earth?
An Ethiopian with a McDonald's Voucher.
Just give him a smooch it’s better than the cooch - Dream
What do you call a FAT Man under 5'9"?
A JUMBO shrimp.
Why do orphans suck at GTA? Because they don't know how to be wanted.
Q: Why aren't there any Walmarts in Afghanistan?
A: Because there's a Target on every corner.
Hey girl, are your pants a mirror? 'Cause I can see myself in them.
Have you ever observed the depression cycle of a snail?
It's pretty much a downward spiral.