Short jokes
What's the difference between Harry Potter and Anne Frank?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
Why can't an orphan get married? It doesn't have its parents' blessing.
what does an orphanage and a hospital have in common?
people go there to fix their mistakes.
My girlfriend told me she used to be a Christian. I asked her why she isn't anymore and she said she liked the name Christina better.
Your hairline is so far away that even the Hubble Telescope can't see it.
What is red and cries and spins around and around?
- A baby in a microwave.
What do a small pair of underpants and a small dance room have in common?
No ballroom.
I’ll make a joke about homeless people, but they just don’t work.
It’s ok to yell “Kobe” after missing a shot, he didn’t make it either.
If 2 + 2 is 4, and 4 + 4 is 8, then that must mean I can lick your pussy.
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
What do you call a surprised Asian?
Ho Lee Fuc.
Did you know that a majority of the U.S. is afraid of the dark?
Especially if they are right behind you at the ATM.
"I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now."
I had a friend who was a dwarf. He committed suicide. He jumped off a curb.
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
Want to know how to fit 71 people in a car? Two in the front while we handle 69 in the back.
Do trees pee?
How else do we have No. 1 pencils?
My entire family "TAKE THIS GIRL TO AN ASYLUM!!!"
Me "OH NO" 💀
me: calls suicide hotline. hotline lady: suicide hotline, how are you doing today? me: not much, just hanging.
What do you do when your cat's not home?
Answer: You play with your neighbor's pussy.