Short jokes
It's opposite day today. I'm gonna tell an orphan that their parents are here.
Yo Mama so stupid that when she saw a sign that said, “Airport Left,” she turned around and went home.
My family is like an apple tree. My sister is that ugly one that has to rot in.
How do you fuck a cow?
Find the nearest Karen.
I wish that people would stop mailing jokes about Kobe Bryant. Guys, all they do is crash and burn!
You are getting Cole for Christmas, you shit fuckers.
Don't you just hate it when you're the first one to fall asleep at a sleepover, and then you hear, "Prank em, John?"
What is a briefcase?
A short lawsuit.
When you can’t see your adopted joke pop up, it’s the same as asking your adopted friend where their parents are and never finding it.
Yo mama's so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?
Pizza won't cut itself.
How long does it take for a depressed person to change a light bulb?
5 days. & I’m pretty proud of myself.
Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who are they gonna cry to? Their parents?
I was reading the news and read that a kid killed his family, and when they interviewed him, he said he wanted to become Batman.
Friend #1: "What's your favourite thing about trees?"
Friend #2: "Apples"
Me: "I can hang myself in them."
Why are orphans not boomerangs? Because they never come back.
POV there’s a school shooting.
American: First time, European?
European: Yeah, you American?
American: No, not my first time.
What is the difference between a baby and a canoe?
I would never put a canoe in my garage.
Your momma's so fat she started "Fat Lives Matter". Meetings are everyday:
11 o'clock McDonald's, 12 o'clock KFC, 1 o'clock Pizza Hut.
What's the difference between an ugly monster and you?
Nothing.