Short jokes
A girl walks into an Adult Store. "Hi, I want to buy that red dildo right there."
Cashier: "That's a fire extinguisher, you whore."
Q. What do you get when you blindfold a racist?
A. A Notsee.
My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.
What do you call a person who doesn't masturbate?
A liar.
Communists don't play Minecraft.
They play Ourcraft.
What do you call a blowjob from a girl who has autism?
Special head.
I hooked up with my German girlfriend. It was really distracting when she kept saying her age.
Roses are red. Watches are gold. Get on your knees and do what you're told.
I asked my North Korean friend how it is to live there.
He said he couldn't complain.
What concert only costs 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
What's the difference between Al Qaeda and Ms. Frizzle? One flew a plane into the Twin Towers; one flew a bus into the school.
When you have sex with a coworker but remember it's a family business.
My girlfriend dumped me today. Apparently, I don't stand up for her in fights. I don't care. She used to push me around all the time.
What’s green and orange and sits at the bottom of the swimming pool?
A baby with burst armbands.
When a clock goes forward, it's tic-tac, but when Rommel goes backwards, it's tactic!
I love the smell of my F5 key. It's very refreshing.
Somebody told me a chemistry joke. I thought it was sodium funny, I slapped my neon that one.
A tiny psychic escaped from jail, and the news said there a small medium at large.