Short jokes
Hey girl, are your pants a mirror? 'Cause I can see myself in them.
What's the fastest thing on earth?
An Ethiopian with a McDonald's Voucher.
Just give him a smooch it’s better than the cooch - Dream
Why do orphans suck at GTA? Because they don't know how to be wanted.
Q: Why aren't there any Walmarts in Afghanistan?
A: Because there's a Target on every corner.
What’s the best part about fucking an emo chick?... she's limited edition.
Are you bleach? Because I want you inside of me.
I'm on a seafood diet, I see food and I eat it.
What is it called when a depressed person gets a stroke?
A stroke of luck :)
How do you keep your friends from boring you with pictures of their children?
Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"
What's a pirate's favorite key on the keyboard?
Others: R.
Rrrr, you would think so, but it be the C.
What did Bonnie say to Chica?
"Go kill yourself, dumbass bitch."
What did the blind man say as he passed the fish stand?
"Hello Ladies!"
He turns, he shoots!
And that is a horrible end to the Grand National...
When the school shooter says, "Everybody get down!" and the autistic kid thinks it's Simon Says: 🙋♂️🙋♂️🙋♂️
Night chat. #love you forever maybe until I die! 🌸
Question: What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?
Answer: He was left hanging.
I see, you guys jokers are SANS-ational!
How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them if you keep reloading.
If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
Big hands.