Short jokes
Why do Chinese people hate Christmas? Because they make the toys.
Son: Dad, I know I'm adopted.
Dad: Well, how do you know?
Son: I found the adoption papers.
Dad: That is for your mum.
If you know, you know.
What's a Mexican's favorite insect? A grasshopper.
My friend had one request for me before he committed suicide, and that was to play Van Halen’s “Jump” at his funeral.
Why are most absent dads mechanics?
They like to nut and bolt.
Your momma is so old she has been a waitress at the last supper.
I make suicidal jokes because I am a suicidal joke. And now for my closing act at the end of the rope.
I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.
A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"
Do you ever look at a person and think, "Just how many generations of inbreeding did it take to create you?"
Me: Wanna play a game?
Sister: Ya, what is it?
Me: Tic tac toe.
Sister:?
Takes out knife and rolls up sleeve.
Me: Tic tac toe.
When was the biggest BBQ in history? Hiroshima, August 6, 1945.
It’s ok to yell “Kobe” after missing a shot, he didn’t make it either.
If 2 + 2 is 4, and 4 + 4 is 8, then that must mean I can lick your pussy.
Today I was at PE, and I saw a kid in a wheelchair. I threw a basketball at him, and I yelled, "Rocket League!"
A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says, "I think I'm a type-O."
You know that if it says, "Adopt a Highway" and no one does, we're driving on orphans.
Pornhub suggesting me MILF on Mother's Day...
What joke could orphan's never understand?
Your Mom jokes.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair with a speaker?
Rolling Loud 🎸🎸
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah!" (from Elton John)