Short jokes
I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up.
How does a turkey drive a car? He wings it.
My parents told me I was born on the highway.
Apparently that’s where most accidents happen.
What do you call frozen Ibuprofen?
A chill pill.
The last joke about the dad was a joke. Don't take it seriously. Can't believe that people actually think that was true.
What did the skeleton say to the other? "Wow, that song, 'Spooky Scary Skeletons,' really does send chills down my spine!"
How did I get to Iraq? I ran.
Feel my shirt...it's boyfriend material.
So I went to the binoculars shop the other day. Tell you what, they saw me coming.
Why couldn’t 3 ask 4 on a date?
Because he was 2 squared.
I just shed my pants.
Did you know that a lot of graves are put in churchyards?
Yeah, they're pretty holey.
Why did piglet go to the bathroom?
To search for Poo.
How do you keep your friends from boring you with pictures of their children?
Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"
What's a pirate's favorite key on the keyboard?
Others: R.
Rrrr, you would think so, but it be the C.
Today I got a lecture from my mother, and congratulated her. Why?
Because she managed not to damage me in a physical fashion.
When the South Tower saw the North Tower collapse, he said, "I'm still standing."
Why don’t cheetahs get married?
They always cheat on each other.
Call of Duty kill cam be like.
This is the best kill streak ever!
I’ll make a joke about homeless people, but they just don’t work.