Short jokes
What does a freshly pregnant teen and her baby share?
They both think, "Mom's probably going to kill me."
What do you call the worst joke ever?
Well, according to my mom, I am.
Mother Nature deserves a traffic ticket.
Summer is speeding by way too fast. 🤣🤣🤣
A woman just went through labor. She asked the doctor, "Was it a healthy delivery?" The doctor replies, "It wasn't delivery, it's DiGiorno."
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of kids.
My sister gives her hamster to my brother since she thinks I'm irresponsible, so I throw it out the window.
Why do shepherds never learn to count?
Because if they did, they would always be falling asleep.
Feel my shirt...it's boyfriend material.
How did I get to Iraq? I ran.
What's a fish's least favorite instrument?
A ClariNET!
I tried to take a picture of some fog. I mist.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
The last joke about the dad was a joke. Don't take it seriously. Can't believe that people actually think that was true.
What did the skeleton say to the other? "Wow, that song, 'Spooky Scary Skeletons,' really does send chills down my spine!"
So I went to the binoculars shop the other day. Tell you what, they saw me coming.
How does a turkey drive a car? He wings it.
What do you call frozen Ibuprofen?
A chill pill.
Why doesn't Kermit the frog get married?
He doesn't like commitment.
I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up.
Why couldn’t 3 ask 4 on a date?
Because he was 2 squared.