Short jokes
Women have ass and tits... but men have dick and rights.
Leo might not be the dumbest person in the world... but she’d better hope they don’t DIE!
Wanna make out, Explain Bear?
Why can't America play chess?
There are missing two towers.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and the devil?
The devil always has horns... not just around children.
My friend nearly drowned in her bowl of muesli the other day. She was pulled in by a strong "currant."
What is Jesus's favorite exercise?
Cross Fit.
What’s the most emo country in the world?
Qatar.
Your hairline has a huge path between it, looks like Moses had something to do with it.
What did the hot dog say to the condom? "Hot dog condom style."
What do you call a man with a Johnny on his nose? Fuck nose.
Welcome back to the hide and seek world championship! Osama Bin Laden vs. Anne Frank!
Ah, you wanna read a cheeseburger joke for your friends to hear.
Nah, bro, you're just going to get cheese on your burger.
Why did the pedophile get kicked out of the candy store?
Because he snatched all of the Sour Patch Kids.
Why can't you fool an aborted baby?
Because it wasn't born yesterday.
What do you call a Gary Dinosaur?
A mega-sore-ass.
Aw hell naw,
dey turned Spongilebile in2 a frigin generator.
How to harass? Say it out loud but slowly. Split that word into, and it sounds like "her ass."
Why don’t autistic people like Autism Speaks?
They’re jealous that autism can speak.
(This is not meant to be triggering, sorry if it is).
Asking for a friend, could anyone please tell me how to politely ask a question for a friend?