Short jokes
If abortion is murder, is jerking off genocide?
Two men ran into a bar. You would have thought after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it.
Yah, hurtful towards you. Bro took it personally, literally.
What was one phrase Michael Jackson said to a boy in his bed? Baby, be mine.
What do you call an emo with no legs?
Emobile.
Why did the woman throw her bills out the window? She wanted to send them via airmail.
I had a friend who was a dwarf. He committed suicide. He jumped off a curb.
Want to know how to fit 71 people in a car? Two in the front while we handle 69 in the back.
Do trees pee?
How else do we have No. 1 pencils?
My entire family "TAKE THIS GIRL TO AN ASYLUM!!!"
Me "OH NO" 💀
I was going to talk about your chin, but I wasn't sure which one to write about.
What's the quickest way to go to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
When you're depressed about the world :( but you remember you will soon die :)
Your friend walks up to you and shows you a picture of an overweight woman.
What would you rate this woman?
A 7.
Why?
Because 7 ate 9!
What do emos like to do when they're sad?
They play violin on their wrists.
What do orphans be on Halloween?
They be themselves.
Paul's favorite car.
A Carrera GT.
I saw an orphan in the grocery store and asked him, "Where's your mom?" and he cried. Why?
Hey, my grandfather was part of WWII. Yeah. He killed Hitler!
What do you call an 18 year old orphan?
Homeless.
Somebody told me to cheer up so.... I told him to pass me a rope :)