Short jokes
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the aeroplane!"
"And here comes the second one!"
How do terrorists feed their children?
Here comes the airplane.
What did one gay sperm say to the other? "You think we’ll find the egg and all this shit?"
Y'know that foundation called "Autism Speaks"? No, it screeches.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
I was reading a book about an immortal cat the other day; it was impossible to put down.
Why couldn't George Floyd become a Demon Slayer?
Because he couldn't breathe.
Q. What does Michael Jackson get his sex partners as a gift?
A. Crayons.
Explain Bear is my favorite.
What do Rihanna and a DJ have in common?
They know how to get a beat down.
If you pour paint in your eyes, the paint loses the 't'.
Roses are red, violets are blue. Don't touch the beds, they are sticky with white goo.
What do you call a race car driver with Down syndrome? Down shift.
What’s the best part about stage four cancer?
There’s no stage five.
Why are there more female history teachers than male?
Because women like to bring up the past.
What's the difference between a joke and the Twin Towers? People don't laugh at my jokes.
How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?
They only have a back door.
Why was the two-piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the meat section from the dairy section.
How do you know that a woman is about to say something smart?
She starts the sentence with ‘a man once said.’
Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.