Short jokes
It’s ok to yell “Kobe” after missing a shot, he didn’t make it either.
If 2 + 2 is 4, and 4 + 4 is 8, then that must mean I can lick your pussy.
Me: Wanna play a game?
Sister: Ya, what is it?
Me: Tic tac toe.
Sister:?
Takes out knife and rolls up sleeve.
Me: Tic tac toe.
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can’t take medicine on an empty stomach.
My woman is a nine on a bad day, but she’ll be 10 on her birthday.
My attitude doesn't have to be the only reason I yell and roll my eyes in the back of my head.
I love all races, even the bad ones.
Why do orphans always have the newest iPhone?
Because it doesn’t have a home button.
Roses are red, your eyes are brown; never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.
What's the difference between sex and mental illness?
Most of Reddit has experienced mental illness.
How do you tell whether you’ve satisfied a redhead?
She unlocks the handcuffs.
What is a government mandate?
When Obama and Biden go out to dinner together.
What is the difference between the government and organized crime?
Only one of them is organized.
Why do men give cold women their jackets?
No man wants a blowjob from a woman with chattering teeth.
What did the trans woman say after finally telling her parents about her surgeries?
“It felt really good to get that off my chest.”
Fat people are the reason we have double doors.
Which animal has the largest chest? A Z-bra.
Roses are red. Watches are gold. Get on your knees and do what you're told.
Did you hear about the dyslexic American police officer?
He shot a Ginger.
What do you call a gay drive-by?
A fruit roll up.