"What did the blind, dumb, paraplegic, dead, eight-year-old child get for their birthday?"
"Cancer."
Short Jokes
Seriously, who wants fucking Annoying Orange as president?
If you bet on Russian roulette, even if you win, you still lose.
Bin Laden promised 76 virgins to Al-Qaeda.
Instead, there was one 76-year-old virgin.
I had a goldfish that could break dance on the carpet... but only for, like, twenty seconds and only once.
What’d the fox say when he was asked to describe his wife?
“Hottie hottie hottie hoe!”
What do you call a woman with three boobs? Tres leches.
My old platoon sergeant always told me the hardest thing when walking through a field of dead babies was... his cock.
What do cigarettes and hamsters have in common?
They can both be dangerous when you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
A miscarriage always brings the child out in me.
Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.
Did you know that Iceland is only one sea away from Ireland?
Why did the feminist kill herself?
Because she was TRIGGERED.
A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here."
What’s loud, red and goes at 200mph?
Paul Walker’s Porsche.
I hate snow. It's white and on my land.
Orphans always dip their Oreos in water, hoping their dad comes back with the milk.
I'm not racist, but the Ku Klux Klan look all the same to me.
What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"If we don’t get some support people will think we are ball sacks..."
I tried writing with a dull pencil the other day, but there was no point.
