Short jokes
Last time I talked to my girlfriend, she was yelling at me to put the hammer down.
What is the most dangerous mountain? Kilimanjaro.
I'm sorry for all the fish puns. I feel so GILL-ty.
What do I call a white person with 15 black kids?
Coach.
Stephen Hawking would be a bad Pokemon.
He'd always be paralyzed, and his only move would be tackle!
Imagine if on April first the government says, "Hahhaha, you all fell for it. Covid-19 is fake; we actually killed all those people, lol."
I broke up with my deaf girlfriend because she never listened to me.
What is the highest number?
420.
What do you call a cow eating grass?
A Lawn Moo-er.
What's the difference between a feminist and a pencil?
One of them has a POINT:)
Nutted in my shoes, now my kids are taking a walk.
If you want to SH but not in the sell farm way, come ooon.. do you even know what does that means?..
Boss: You're fired.
Me: *pauses porn* Why?
Two chinamen walk into a bar. The landlord says, "Why the same face?"
Why can't an orphan sign up for adoption websites?
Parental Login: __________
Hey, did you know that 9/11 won a Grammy?
Yes, best comedy award.
I was walking this hot girl home, then she noticed me, then the walk turned into a run.
Your forehead is so big, it's a $20 taxi ride from your hairline to your eyebrows.
I hate the term feminazi. It is offensive to real Nazis.
How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?
A buccaneer.