Short jokes
"Remember, switching to your pistol is always faster than reloading."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
What’s fat, brown, and has no dad?
Ama
Why are gay men better than straight women?
Because gay men are more willing to look after kids once they swallow them.
Q: Mummy, how do most stars die?
A: From an overdose.
[God creating the parrot] OK, HOW ABOUT A TYE-DYE CHICKEN THAT SCREAMS ACTUAL WORDS AT YOU?
Hi 👋 I was wondering...
A special quote: “No, Mackenzie! You're the savage beast!”
So Jessie Waters goes on TV without a gallon of hair gel. Oh wait, never mind!
What did all the humans say when all the pets left town?
A doggone catastrophe!
What's the difference between a bison and a buffalo?
You can't wash your face in a buffalo.
Are you getting tired of life? Yes? Then call 180 go fuck yourself.
It's not our problem.com That's 180 go fuck yourself it's not our problem.com
Tell your mom I don't like waiting in queues.
Man: Knock, knock...
Boy: Who's there?
Man: Bear...
Boy: Bear who?
Man: Bear bottom.
What’s the difference between a life and a nuclear bomb?
I don’t have a life.
I put the D in Children.
Is that my student?
Na! It is Jesus!
Why is Ronnie Anne in love with Lincoln? Because he has a fat nugen.
Can bees fly in the rain?
Not if they don't have their yellow jackets!
2001, Angry Birds was so amazing. Over 500 people in 2 birds.
Why did Jesus create the Devil?
He didn't recognize himself through the time portal.