Short jokes
Why do basketball players hate gravity?
Because it's always bringing them down.
Lol. It was just a prank, bro.
Every woman will die in five seconds.
Mother: Dies.
Sister: Dies.
Girlfriend: Lives.
You: 🤬
What's the best thing about taking a shower with a 12 year old Philippino girl?
If you slick her hair back, she looks 10.
My brother: What are you looking at?
Me: A mistake.
Why did you scream? Oh... Helen Keller tried to cook... 😨
What is a similarity between priests and doctors?
They both have fetishes for their professions.
Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
She keeps on running from the ball.
Las Vegas has a new 550-foot-tall Ferris wheel, hoping to gain tourists.
What’s already gaining “tourists”? Whores.
Why was the gay boy fired from the sperm bank?
He was caught embezzling.
My boss found my permanent record at the orphanage, and he’s mad. I got fired...
What did the butt say to the other butt? "I got big fat apples for butt checks!"
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad husband?
Because he doesn't stand up for his wife.
What is a monkey’s 🐒 favorite dance move?
The banana 🍌 split.
Your forehead is so big that it could carry the passengers of the Titanic.
What do you call a house that isn't a house?
Not a house.
Do emos eat...
Happy meals?
What has 2 wheels and screams? A disabled [person] I dropkicked down the stairs.
Yo mama so fat, even Bob the Builder said, "We can't fix that!"
Hello everybody, now who here have watched Skurry?