Short jokes
My sister gives her hamster to my brother since she thinks I'm irresponsible, so I throw it out the window.
What's a fish's least favorite instrument?
A ClariNET!
How did I get to Iraq? I ran.
What do you call the worst joke ever?
Well, according to my mom, I am.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of kids.
Mother Nature deserves a traffic ticket.
Summer is speeding by way too fast. 🤣🤣🤣
What does a freshly pregnant teen and her baby share?
They both think, "Mom's probably going to kill me."
So I went to the binoculars shop the other day. Tell you what, they saw me coming.
A woman just went through labor. She asked the doctor, "Was it a healthy delivery?" The doctor replies, "It wasn't delivery, it's DiGiorno."
Make sense of what I am saying, This is a LIE—and that's the TRUTH.
What am I?
Answer: a Riddle.
My parents told me I was born on the highway.
Apparently that’s where most accidents happen.
What did the skeleton say to the other? "Wow, that song, 'Spooky Scary Skeletons,' really does send chills down my spine!"
Feel my shirt...it's boyfriend material.
Why couldn’t 3 ask 4 on a date?
Because he was 2 squared.
Did you know that a lot of graves are put in churchyards?
Yeah, they're pretty holey.
Why did piglet go to the bathroom?
To search for Poo.
I just shed my pants.
What's worse than ants in your pants?
Your uncle.
My only friend who actually cares: "Stop making suicide jokes, I’m really concerned!"
Me: Okay, I’ll cut it out.
What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?
Both are sick and twisted.