Short jokes
Call of Duty kill cam be like.
This is the best kill streak ever!
If 2 + 2 is 4, and 4 + 4 is 8, then that must mean I can lick your pussy.
Do you ever look at a person and think, "Just how many generations of inbreeding did it take to create you?"
Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.
Me: Wanna play a game?
Sister: Ya, what is it?
Me: Tic tac toe.
Sister:?
Takes out knife and rolls up sleeve.
Me: Tic tac toe.
There was a girl I used to date, only to find out that she used to be a man. You could say, she put me in a trans.
Why would a protestant refuse to become a catholic?
Because a protestant is not a homosexual sodomite.
I told my suicidal friends to stop posting suicidal memes. They said they will stop soon.
Today I got a lecture from my mother, and congratulated her. Why?
Because she managed not to damage me in a physical fashion.
I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up.
So I went to the binoculars shop the other day. Tell you what, they saw me coming.
Why doesn't Kermit the frog get married?
He doesn't like commitment.
Feel my shirt...it's boyfriend material.
What did the skeleton say to the other? "Wow, that song, 'Spooky Scary Skeletons,' really does send chills down my spine!"
The last joke about the dad was a joke. Don't take it seriously. Can't believe that people actually think that was true.
How does a turkey drive a car? He wings it.
Make sense of what I am saying, This is a LIE—and that's the TRUTH.
What am I?
Answer: a Riddle.
My parents told me I was born on the highway.
Apparently that’s where most accidents happen.
Did you fall from heaven? Because you really did a damage on your face.
What's a fish's least favorite instrument?
A ClariNET!