I just shed my pants.
Short Jokes
Did you know that a lot of graves are put in churchyards?
Yeah, they're pretty holey.
"I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now."
Son: Dad, I know I'm adopted.
Dad: Well, how do you know?
Son: I found the adoption papers.
Dad: That is for your mum.
If you know, you know.
My friend had one request for me before he committed suicide, and that was to play Van Halen’s “Jump” at his funeral.
Your momma is so old she has been a waitress at the last supper.
(Best pick-up line ever). Your body is like 9/11. I wanna crash into your twin towers. 😏
I was playing football and this guy comes to me, he was in a wheelchair.
We started playing rocket league.
Ever wondered why my gay kids don't play basketball? Because they can't shoot the ball straight into the hoop.
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
What do you do when your cat's not home?
Answer: You play with your neighbor's pussy.
Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.
In reality, I like killing myself.
What's a Mexican's favorite insect? A grasshopper.
What’s a kid with Down syndrome's favorite candy... Grunts.
What does Michael Jackson get high on? A little crack.
I love all races, even the bad ones.
Q. What do you get when you blindfold a racist?
A. A Notsee.
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite poker hand?
Jacks and 5.
How do you know if a Black woman is pregnant?
Stick a chicken wing up there.
How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.
