Short jokes
If 2 + 2 is 4, and 4 + 4 is 8, then that must mean I can lick your pussy.
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
What do you do when your cat's not home?
Answer: You play with your neighbor's pussy.
Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.
In reality, I like killing myself.
I was playing football and this guy comes to me, he was in a wheelchair.
We started playing rocket league.
Ever wondered why my gay kids don't play basketball? Because they can't shoot the ball straight into the hoop.
What is the difference between Catholics and Lutherans?
Catholics are registered sex offenders.
I would kiss your lips, but your legs are blocking the way.
If you know, you know. 😏😏
What do you call an orphan's family reunion?
Me time.
You're so ugly, when you went to the makeup store, it shut down.
What do you say to a depressed person on the ceiling?
Hang in there!
What song did the Titanic victims listen to as they died?
Ice, Ice Baby!!
What do you call a disabled Arab?
Artoo-Detoo (R2-D2).
I farted in my grandma's breathing machine.
I was sitting at a bench at the park and saw a lady. She asked which kid was mine, and I responded, "I haven't decided yet."
Today I was at PE, and I saw a kid in a wheelchair. I threw a basketball at him, and I yelled, "Rocket League!"
Me: Wanna play a game?
Sister: Ya, what is it?
Me: Tic tac toe.
Sister:?
Takes out knife and rolls up sleeve.
Me: Tic tac toe.
A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says, "I think I'm a type-O."
You know that if it says, "Adopt a Highway" and no one does, we're driving on orphans.
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.