Me: Wanna play a game?
Sister: Ya, what is it?
Me: Tic tac toe.
Sister:?
Takes out knife and rolls up sleeve.
Me: Tic tac toe.
Short Jokes
There was a girl I used to date, only to find out that she used to be a man. You could say, she put me in a trans.
Why would a protestant refuse to become a catholic?
Because a protestant is not a homosexual sodomite.
I told my suicidal friends to stop posting suicidal memes. They said they will stop soon.
Today I got a lecture from my mother, and congratulated her. Why?
Because she managed not to damage me in a physical fashion.
I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up.
So I went to the binoculars shop the other day. Tell you what, they saw me coming.
Why doesn't Kermit the frog get married?
He doesn't like commitment.
Feel my shirt...it's boyfriend material.
What did the skeleton say to the other? "Wow, that song, 'Spooky Scary Skeletons,' really does send chills down my spine!"
The last joke about the dad was a joke. Don't take it seriously. Can't believe that people actually think that was true.
How does a turkey drive a car? He wings it.
Make sense of what I am saying, This is a LIE—and that's the TRUTH.
What am I?
Answer: a Riddle.
My parents told me I was born on the highway.
Apparently that’s where most accidents happen.
Did you fall from heaven? Because you really did a damage on your face.
What's a fish's least favorite instrument?
A ClariNET!
Why couldn’t 3 ask 4 on a date?
Because he was 2 squared.
How do you keep your friends from boring you with pictures of their children?
Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"
What's a pirate's favorite key on the keyboard?
Others: R.
Rrrr, you would think so, but it be the C.
How did I get to Iraq? I ran.
