Short jokes
I always keep anti-fungal spray with me... because I don't want to share my girlfriend with anyone.
I like my women like I like my traction control: disabled.
I: "Get a boomerang."
Type: "Why?"
Me: "Because for frisbee, you need friends."
What do Kurt Cobain and an emo kid have in common?
They both smell like "Teen Spirit."
It's opposite day today. I'm gonna tell an orphan that their parents are here.
Yo Mama so stupid that when she saw a sign that said, “Airport Left,” she turned around and went home.
My family is like an apple tree. My sister is that ugly one that has to rot in.
What do you get when you cross Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?
Predator 2.
How do you fuck a cow?
Find the nearest Karen.
I wish that people would stop mailing jokes about Kobe Bryant. Guys, all they do is crash and burn!
You are getting Cole for Christmas, you shit fuckers.
Don't you just hate it when you're the first one to fall asleep at a sleepover, and then you hear, "Prank em, John?"
What is a briefcase?
A short lawsuit.
When you can’t see your adopted joke pop up, it’s the same as asking your adopted friend where their parents are and never finding it.
Yo mama's so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?
Pizza won't cut itself.
How long does it take for a depressed person to change a light bulb?
5 days. & I’m pretty proud of myself.
Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who are they gonna cry to? Their parents?
I was reading the news and read that a kid killed his family, and when they interviewed him, he said he wanted to become Batman.
Friend #1: "What's your favourite thing about trees?"
Friend #2: "Apples"
Me: "I can hang myself in them."