Short jokes
When an orphan takes a pic, is it known as a family picture? 📸
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
me: calls suicide hotline. hotline lady: suicide hotline, how are you doing today? me: not much, just hanging.
My attitude doesn't have to be the only reason I yell and roll my eyes in the back of my head.
What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
Why do orphans always have the newest iPhone?
Because it doesn’t have a home button.
My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.
What was Hitler’s favorite sex position?
Sixty nein.
Why do you call a fat midget?
Jiggly Puff.
Roses are red, your eyes are brown; never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.
What do an open champagne bottle and an orphan have in common? They both lost their pop.
You're so bald that your hairline is receding faster than my bank account after a trip to Las Vegas.
Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.
I got a part in a movie called "Cocaine." I only have one line.
How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightbulb?
Steven.
"Just say NO to drugs!" Well, if I'm talking to drugs, I probably already said yes.
What do you call a gay drive-by?
A fruit roll up.
Actually, Iron Man is female.
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can’t take medicine on an empty stomach.
My woman is a nine on a bad day, but she’ll be 10 on her birthday.