Short jokes
How do birds pay? With their bills!
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it actually came back.
If you kill someone, that's murder.
If you kill a family member, that's still murder.
If you kill a child, that's "child abuse."
I took a sip of water.
I first saw her in the Walmart picking out your drawers.
Why can’t Americans play chess?
They lost 2 towers.
What do you call a no "r"-med T-rex?
A T-ex.
Your momma's so fat that she is the Earth!
Why couldn't Professor Xavier fight Magneto? Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.
On a scale of 8 to 10, how good do I look?
Russia: "Silence."
Ukraine: Help...
I gun give money.
"Guys, let's make this post have the most comments on the whole website."
WTF 850 COMMENTS???
What's up, bitches? Miss me?
Yo mama's so stupid, she put airbags on her computer in case it crashed.
I don't laugh at Trump.
I was taught to NEVER make fun of the mentally handicapped.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
What is always moving but we never see it walk?
Time! Hahahaha!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side! Haha, so funny...