Short jokes
The IRS hates when you don't have to pay your taxes with this one mind-blowing trick.
What's the depressed person's favorite song?
Van Halen - Jump
Suicide is as easy as my ex-wife.
A depressed kid wanted to give me a high five.
I just left him hanging.
Why did the hooker fall in love? Stockholm syndrome.
Hell hates freezers, England, and soccer.
Satanism is such an ugly word. I prefer the term, "red skin appreciation."
Teacher: "I'll call your mother."
Orphan: "Go on, see if she picks up."
They say the first time doesn't work, third time's the charm. Ha, not!
Do you know Mike Hawk? No, who is he? Mike Hawk in your MOUTH!
how to solve world hunger and over population?
Cannibalism.
I told the emo girl to stop playing fruit ninja on her wrists.
what do you call it when a person dies in Panera Bread?
Panera dead.
What do orphans be on Halloween?
They be themselves.
Paul's favorite car.
A Carrera GT.
I saw an orphan in the grocery store and asked him, "Where's your mom?" and he cried. Why?
What do you call a rooster lollipop?
A cock sucker!
Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject. Now you can talk about Botox, and nobody raises an eyebrow.
What does Michael Jackson get high on? A little crack.
What is an orphan's favorite movie?
Home Alone.