Short jokes
What did the skeleton say to the other? "Wow, that song, 'Spooky Scary Skeletons,' really does send chills down my spine!"
Feel my shirt...it's boyfriend material.
So I went to the binoculars shop the other day. Tell you what, they saw me coming.
What do you call frozen Ibuprofen?
A chill pill.
The last joke about the dad was a joke. Don't take it seriously. Can't believe that people actually think that was true.
I tried to take a picture of some fog. I mist.
Why do shepherds never learn to count?
Because if they did, they would always be falling asleep.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
How did I get to Iraq? I ran.
What's a fish's least favorite instrument?
A ClariNET!
What does a freshly pregnant teen and her baby share?
They both think, "Mom's probably going to kill me."
My parents told me I was born on the highway.
Apparently that’s where most accidents happen.
Why doesn't Kermit the frog get married?
He doesn't like commitment.
I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up.
How does a turkey drive a car? He wings it.
What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take your boots off before jumping on a trampoline.
What does a one-night stand have in common with earthquakes? You never know how long they'll last.
What do Rihanna and a DJ have in common?
They know how to get a beat down.
Why is reverse cowgirl illegal in Alabama? Because you should never turn your back on family.
Why was the two-piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the meat section from the dairy section.