Short jokes
What do I call a white person with 15 black kids?
Coach.
When a clock goes forward, it's tic-tac, but when Rommel goes backwards, it's tactic!
What’s green and orange and sits at the bottom of the swimming pool?
A baby with burst armbands.
What is the most dangerous mountain? Kilimanjaro.
When you have sex with a coworker but remember it's a family business.
Last time I talked to my girlfriend, she was yelling at me to put the hammer down.
Stephen Hawking would be a bad Pokemon.
He'd always be paralyzed, and his only move would be tackle!
What is the highest number?
420.
I broke up with my deaf girlfriend because she never listened to me.
What do you call a cow eating grass?
A Lawn Moo-er.
What's the difference between a feminist and a pencil?
One of them has a POINT:)
What do apples and witches have in common? They both hang on trees.
What’s a sheep’s favorite fruit?
A baaaaaaaanaaaaaana!
When is a car not a car? When it turns into a driveway. 🥁
How do you turn a baby into a dog?
Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!
How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?
A buccaneer.
What's a convict's favorite chore?
Weeding.
Two chinamen walk into a bar. The landlord says, "Why the same face?"
What's the best way to remove gum from hair?
Cancer.
You're the type of person to play "Girl on Fire" during a funeral.