Short jokes
What do the Titanic and the Sixth Sense have in common?
Icy dead people.
I told a blind man to read more, so he grabbed my arm and read the whole dictionary.
I walked into the party and the host asked me if I would like a slice of pie.
I responded "yes," and he said: "okay, 14159."
Did you know ghosts are alcoholics?
They only come out for the boos.
My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are up.
Where do fish keep their money?
In a riverbank!
If there is a divorce in West Virginia, are they still brother and sister?
[god creating alligators]
God: See that log?
Angel: Yes...?
God: Now fill it with teeth.
Angel: Say again?
God: FILL IT WITH TEETH!
What do ghosts put on their bagels 🥯?
Scream cheese.
Why did the skunk 🦨 sleep 💤 under a car?
Because he wanted to wake up oily.
Your mom is like a penny: two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants.
What do you call a Muslim sleepover?
Osamas in Pajamas.
When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
When you're a terrorist and you have a stutter.
A a a a a a a a ala ala ala ala ala alaog alaogbar.
I like George Floyd's new song. It is really breathtaking.
How do you make a builder cry?
Kill his family.
My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with pasta. -- I'm doing well, but I do get cannelloni.
Why is the B so cool? Because it’s in between A and C.
If her age is on the clock, she gets the cock.
The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him with my gun. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.