Short jokes
What do you call a musician 👩‍🎤 who drinks soda and sings 🎤 at the same time?
A popsinger.
Confucius says, "Man who walks through airport door sideways with erection, is going to Bangkok."
How do you make a baby astronaut sleep?
You rock-it!
What’s the difference between kids and drugs?
I don’t hide drugs in my basement.
Why did the one-handed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand store!
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
Hit your wife harder.
What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period?
She can taste the blood off her son’s cock!
What do Logan Paul, KSI, and the Japanese suicide victim have in common?
Tying.
How do you make a pink Smurf?
You peel the skin off.
Why did the lion always lose at poker?
He was playing with a bunch of cheetahs.
Why did Bob fall off the swing while playing? Because he had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there?
Not Bob.
Q: How do you make a pool table laugh?
A: Tickle its balls.
Why was the boy crying?
He had a frog stapled to his face.
An old lady walks into an adoption center, and the lady that runs the business says, "Oh, haven’t seen you in a long time!"
The only time rape jokes are okay; is when they aren't forced.
People told Kobe to fly high. Look what happened.
A miscarriage always brings the child out in me.
I had a goldfish that could break dance on the carpet... but only for, like, twenty seconds and only once.
Bin Laden promised 76 virgins to Al-Qaeda.
Instead, there was one 76-year-old virgin.