Short jokes
Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail?
A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.
Q: What was Hellen Keller's favorite game as a kid?
A: Musical chairs.
Son: "Dad, are we pyromaniacs?"
Dad: "Yes, we arson."
What is a tuba plus tuba? -- Fourba.
What do you call a dog that tells time?
A watchdog.
What's a furry's favorite news network?
Fox!
moo.
What’s Mexico’s favorite sport?
Cross country.
Why did the sea cry?
Because it felt salty and blue.
Why are pirates called pirates? Because they arrrrrrrr!
Why don't Romans find algebra interesting?
X is always 10.
What goes black, white, black, white, down a hill?
A fat nun.
What do Jesus and I have in common? Our dads left us...
What is the one thing wrong with Asian pet stores?...
There is always a kitchen in the back.
What did the condom say when he came out of a gay guy's asshole?
He said, "Fuck this shit!"
These murder jokes are just KILLING me!
What do you call it if your mom is a guy and your dad is a woman?
Transparent.
What did everyone say about the crazy unemployed homeless man?
He made no cents.
Q: What's the difference between an egg and me?
A: An egg gets laid.
Why did Mary fall off the swings?
She got hit by a refrigerator.