Short jokes
I bought shoes from a drug dealer yesterday. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Kenny was into incest until his mom died.
Now he's into necrophilia.
What do you call physically handicapped, homophobic, heterosexual men and women in wheelchairs?
Mixed nuts.
How is the world like dirt?
Because we don't think twice about it.
Your forehead is so huge, you don't have dreams, you have movies. Follow me on Instagram: _zer0x3.
Seriously, who wants fucking Annoying Orange as president?
Guys, let's make this post have the most comments on the whole website.
You’re Russian when you go to the bathroom and Finnish when you come out. What are you in the bathroom?
European.
Why can't you tell anyone about space?
Because it's too out of this world!
What’d the fox say when he was asked to describe his wife?
“Hottie hottie hottie hoe!”
Knock knock! Who's there? King Tut! King Tut who? King Tutty Fried Chicken!
I’ll never forget my Granddad’s last words to me just before he died.
“Are you still holding the ladder?”
If Canadians speak "English Eh?", do Americans speak "English B?"
A miscarriage always brings the child out in me.
Down Syndrome is already a joke.
What goes black, white, black, white, down a hill?
A fat nun.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.
My grandpa kept warning the people on the Titanic that the boat was going to sink. Result: he got kicked out of the movie theater.
What's red and blue and runs up your leg?
A homesick miscarriage.