I’m like an escalator because I’m always letting people down.
Short Jokes
The average French car has 7 gears, 6 of which are in reverse mode just in case the Germans come back.
Are you bleach? Because I want you inside of me.
I'm on a seafood diet, I see food and I eat it.
What is it called when a depressed person gets a stroke?
A stroke of luck :)
What is the difference between a baby and a canoe?
I would never put a canoe in my garage.
What's the difference between an ugly monster and you?
Nothing.
Segma says, "32!"
Ligma Says, "And?"
Segma says, "Anding deez balls to your mouth."
What do women and chess have in common? When you sacrifice the females and replace them, you are more likely to win.
What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana?
Tiger Woods had a good driver.
If a dog made a computer, it would have a mega bite.
School was fun, but it was hard, almost like riding a bike that’s on fire and the grounds on fire and everything’s on fire because it’s hell.
When David lost his ID, I called him Dave. Where did Dave go during the bombing? Everywhere. Guess who came crawling back?
Why do black men have nightmares?
Because the only one that had a dream got shot.
Why do the twin towers and my mom have in common? They fell over.
POV you are drunk and telling jokes and no one is listening 😭😭😭
Got a job at the library yesterday... It lasted fifteen minutes... Turns out books about women's rights don't belong in the fiction section.
What is an orphan's favorite period? Homeroom.
What do orphans be on Halloween?
They be themselves.
Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject. Now you can talk about Botox, and nobody raises an eyebrow.
