Short jokes
What does a queen want on her cookie?
Royal Icing.
What did the comedian say when he walked into a bank?
"This is a stand-up."
How do you get a black kid to stop jumping on your bed? Put velcro on the ceiling.
What’s one good thing about pedophiles?
They drive slow in school zones.
How do you know your sister’s on her period? Your dad's cock tastes funny.
Why don't Romans find algebra interesting?
X is always 10.
What do Jesus and I have in common? Our dads left us...
What did the condom say when he came out of a gay guy's asshole?
He said, "Fuck this shit!"
What is the one thing wrong with Asian pet stores?...
There is always a kitchen in the back.
Q: What's the difference between an egg and me?
A: An egg gets laid.
These murder jokes are just KILLING me!
What do you call it if your mom is a guy and your dad is a woman?
Transparent.
What did everyone say about the crazy unemployed homeless man?
He made no cents.
Why did Mary fall off the swings?
She got hit by a refrigerator.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Head and Shoulders.
My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack.
I always hit on 16, then get busted.
Where do cows go on holiday? -- Moo Zealand.
My true hero is the person who killed Hitler.
There is one rapist among us.
Rock, paper, lesbians.