Short jokes
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
They say give a man an inch, he'll take a mile. What about women? They don't have dicks.
My girlfriend told me she used to be a Christian. I asked her why she isn't anymore and she said she liked the name Christina better.
A limbless criminal has just been identified. Police say the suspect is armed and on the run.
Do trees pee?
How else do we have No. 1 pencils?
My entire family "TAKE THIS GIRL TO AN ASYLUM!!!"
Me "OH NO" 💀
If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"
What is the difference between Catholics and Lutherans?
Catholics are registered sex offenders.
I would kiss your lips, but your legs are blocking the way.
If you know, you know. 😏😏
Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.
What do you say to a depressed person on the ceiling?
Hang in there!
What do you call a disabled Arab?
Artoo-Detoo (R2-D2).
I farted in my grandma's breathing machine.
The Titanic is now a resort for fish.
I was sitting at a bench at the park and saw a lady. She asked which kid was mine, and I responded, "I haven't decided yet."
I told a joke and someone said, "no one asked." Then I said, "no one would care to even ask."
Why can't an orphan get married? It doesn't have its parents' blessing.
what does an orphanage and a hospital have in common?
people go there to fix their mistakes.
Your hairline is so far away that even the Hubble Telescope can't see it.
What do you call an orphan's family reunion?
Me time.
Yah, hurtful towards you. Bro took it personally, literally.