Short jokes
When Michael Jackson died, people melted him down into Lego pieces so that little kids could play with him instead.
Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated.
When I told him this, he said, "Are you kidding me?"
I said, "I shit you not."
Chuck Norris doesn't need to be vaccinated. Vaccines need to be Chuck Norrised.
Someone: "I WANNA BE THE SUN OF YOUR LIFE!"
Me: Then stay at 1,000,000 km of me.
Papyrus ran headfirst into a windmill. Guess you can call him a bonehead.
What does the hare say to the other hare? You look nice with your hare cut!
"Sir, in court, all your answers must be oral, okay?"
"Ok."
"What town did you grow up in?"
"Oral."
Why did Helen Keller sign the n-word?
She thought she was black.
What's an emo's favorite game?
Limbo.
(If you don't understand the joke, go look up what Limbo is.)
What is the difference between a hooker and a feminist?
If you want a hooker to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash of Clans? Because they already lost two towers.
POV: Someone stole Michael Jackson's baby: "He he stole my bab(y), he he."
How do you get to the Hogwarts gym?
Go through the dumbbell door.
What do you call your angry French aunt?
A crossaunt.
I hate this. Everybody knows it's how I roll, if you jump into my van you get a Tootsie Roll. My uncle said this...
I just thought of the best invention ever: a vape dildo.
Why did mommy disappear? The dad: Well, when she crossed the road to get to the chicken, she only made it halfway.
Yo mama so fat when she went on a plane, somebody yelled "A solar eclipse!"
What did the dick say to the condom?
Cover me, I'm going in. 😚😏
Hi, if you are suffering with depression and want to talk about it, please do so in the comments, and just know you are NOT alone.