Short jokes
Nice! Angry Birds really has improved.
When Michael Jackson died, people melted him down into Lego pieces so that little kids could play with him instead.
Crispy, Juicy, Tender, I just put my new-born son in a blender.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash of Clans? Because they already lost two towers.
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
Why did Helen Keller sign the n-word?
She thought she was black.
What's an emo's favorite game?
Limbo.
(If you don't understand the joke, go look up what Limbo is.)
What is the difference between a hooker and a feminist?
If you want a hooker to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
POV: Someone stole Michael Jackson's baby: "He he stole my bab(y), he he."
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza? Pizza won't cut itself.
How do you get to the Hogwarts gym?
Go through the dumbbell door.
Why did the girls sit on the clock?
To be on time.
Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated.
When I told him this, he said, "Are you kidding me?"
I said, "I shit you not."
Yo mama so fat when she went on a plane, somebody yelled "A solar eclipse!"
I hate this. Everybody knows it's how I roll, if you jump into my van you get a Tootsie Roll. My uncle said this...
What did the dick say to the condom?
Cover me, I'm going in. 😚😏
Why did mommy disappear? The dad: Well, when she crossed the road to get to the chicken, she only made it halfway.
"Sir, in court, all your answers must be oral, okay?"
"Ok."
"What town did you grow up in?"
"Oral."
Someone: "I WANNA BE THE SUN OF YOUR LIFE!"
Me: Then stay at 1,000,000 km of me.
What does the hare say to the other hare? You look nice with your hare cut!