Short jokes
I’ll never forget my Granddad’s last words to me just before he died.
“Are you still holding the ladder?”
Down Syndrome is already a joke.
What goes black, white, black, white, down a hill?
A fat nun.
My true hero is the person who killed Hitler.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.
What do you call a communist pirate ship?
The USS Arrrrr.
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5
4 to turn the table, and 1 to hold the bulb.
How did I escape from Iraq, Iran?
what was sally's role in a football game?
the football ;-;
My uncle died on September 11. He was the greatest pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.
What's red and blue and runs up your leg?
A homesick miscarriage.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite planet? Uranus.
Why do emos get discounts at every shop? Because they have barcodes on their wrists.
Me running after slapping the emo kid's wrist and saying, "I like ya cut g."
How do you create the world's quickest human pyramid?
Turn on the gas chamber.
Why can't homosexuals get car insurance?
They've been rear-ended too many times.
Q: Why did the two gate-builders start fighting?
A: Because they were fencing.
What do chairs spend on the most?
Chair-ity.
Why is the USA so bad at chess?
Because they already lost two towers.
Rock, paper, lesbians.