Short jokes
What is Michael Jackson's favorite planet? Uranus.
Why do emos get discounts at every shop? Because they have barcodes on their wrists.
Me running after slapping the emo kid's wrist and saying, "I like ya cut g."
How do you create the world's quickest human pyramid?
Turn on the gas chamber.
What do you call a communist pirate ship?
The USS Arrrrr.
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5
4 to turn the table, and 1 to hold the bulb.
What do chairs spend on the most?
Chair-ity.
Q: Why did the two gate-builders start fighting?
A: Because they were fencing.
How did I escape from Iraq, Iran?
Crucifixion was the first T-pose.
Why is the USA so bad at chess?
Because they already lost two towers.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite place to eat?
A: Schools because there is a wide variety of choices.
Black holes and horny black women have 1 thing in common, they suck everything in sight.
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?
A "glad-he-ate-her".
My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are always up.
What do you call a cow with no toes?
Lac-toes intolerant.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-of-puss!
Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.
Where do mathematicians go to die?
The symmetry.
What do squirrels and men have in common?
They always want a nut.