Short jokes
Me and my brother were called the twin towers. My brother lived up to his title after the plane crash.
Daughter: "I know this is weird, but I feel like someone is watching me when I am sleeping."
Father: "Sorry."
Bill Cosby on rape: "But, I heard, 'my body, my choice.'"
It was the year 1912. I was in the SS Titanic, and I woke from a dream to think, "I've heard of wet dreams, but is that WATER?"
Your mama so fat the flash died halfway running around her.
What do magicians and prostitutes have in common?
Answer: disappearing acts.
Why do nuns walk in groups?
So one “nun” can keep an eye on the other “nun” just to make sure that she isn’t getting "nun".
Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.
Black holes and horny black women have 1 thing in common, they suck everything in sight.
What's the best part of having sex on a golf course?
The hole experience.
What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets?
Women.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy".
I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn't find a manual.
Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? - Because he needed some space.
I'm 24 and I was with a Chinese lady, and she kept screaming, "I'm too young!" Like, I don't know what that name is.
Want to hear a joke about milk? No, it's too cheesy.
What’s one good thing about pedophiles?
They drive slow in school zones.
If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
I told a blind man to read more, so he grabbed my arm and read the whole dictionary.
What did the cannibal do after eating all the vegetables?
Sold the wheelchairs on eBay.