Short jokes
What's the best part of having sex on a golf course?
The hole experience.
What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets?
Women.
I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn't find a manual.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy".
Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? - Because he needed some space.
Want to hear a joke about milk? No, it's too cheesy.
What’s one good thing about pedophiles?
They drive slow in school zones.
What is a tuba plus tuba? -- Fourba.
moo.
What’s Mexico’s favorite sport?
Cross country.
What do you call a dog that tells time?
A watchdog.
Why are pirates called pirates? Because they arrrrrrrr!
Why did the sea cry?
Because it felt salty and blue.
I was talking to a beaver about my life. I don't think he really gave a dam about it at all.
What do you do when an orphan takes a family photo?
A selfie.
Q: What was Hellen Keller's favorite game as a kid?
A: Musical chairs.
[god creating alligators]
God: See that log?
Angel: Yes...?
God: Now fill it with teeth.
Angel: Say again?
God: FILL IT WITH TEETH!
What's a furry's favorite news network?
Fox!
Son: "Dad, are we pyromaniacs?"
Dad: "Yes, we arson."
What does a queen want on her cookie?
Royal Icing.