Short jokes
What is a cup called when they show a ton of emotions?
Answer: Expresso! (KILL MEH)
Why is he called Ben 10? Because he is ten in long.
Q. What do you give a sick lemon?
A. Lemon-aid.
Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...
When does a doctor get mad?
When he runs out of patients!
Advertisement: "What's in your wallet?"
Me: "The same amount of money as there is my will to live... ;_)"
Student: "May I use the restroom, professor?"
Professor: "Oui oui."
Student: "No, professor, doo doo!"
What do you do during a shooting? Why, join in, of course...
How do fat people settle arguments?
By bumping into each other to see who falls over first.
What’s something you might say at sea, but not at your partner?
Land ho!
Do you think midgets start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?
Elton John is still standing.
What do Colorado and Saudi Arabia have in common?
It's legal to get stoned.
I bought my blind friend a house on the edge of a cliff.
They died of happiness and a 30 story fall.
What's the difference between a baby and garlic bread? I feel bad when I drop garlic bread.
Why do dwarfs laugh when they run a race? Because the grass tickles their balls.
Trying to make a baby talk is like trying to negotiate with North Korea.
Why did Michael Jackson get away with it? Because he's a smooth criminal.
My sister argued with me that you can't make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!
I ran into a dwarf and he said: "Well, I’m not Happy."
Then which one are you?