Short jokes
What does my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
Michael Jackson broke his window. What does he say? "I can't see."
I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”
If the minions serve whoever is the biggest bad, then who did they serve 1930-1945?
What is the toughest thing about living a vegan life?
Getting up at 5am to milk the almonds.
Please welcome Mozart's The Magic Flute...
In A minor.
Your teeth are so spread out my mom can drive her car through the gap in your teeth.
I actually think Paul Walker was a good man, he did not deserve to be burned alive.
He had a change of race tho when he died.
What game do zombies like to play?
Corpse and Robbers.
Whatever happened to the emo? (wrong answer only)
Michael Jackson died of shock when he found out Boys II Men wasn't a delivery service.
What do cannibals call newborn babies?
Fresh fruit.
When I was your age, we had Wacko Jacko, not Florida Man.
What has eight legs and leaves kids alone? The Jackson 4.
What did the grim reaper say when his favorite car commercial came on? "Safe life repair, safe life replace!"
What is a cannibal's favorite place to eat?
Five Guys.
Why do Emos love Christmas? So they can pretend they're ornaments and hang themselves on trees. Hope you liked it, happy holidays!
If you really think about it, every market in Africa is a black market.
I would tell you an orphan joke, ehh I’ll just tell your parents instead.
Teacher: "What do you think is your purpose in our society?"
Me: "To reduce the population by one."