Short jokes

What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?

They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.

What's the best way to catch a fish? Ask someone to throw it to you.

What does the suicidal person say on New Years?

"New year, no me."

My dick was in the book of world records.

But then the librarian asked me to take it out.

If you're in Alabama, family reunions are basically speed dating events.

What do White Castle sliders and Michael Jackson have in common? They have their meat in tiny wet buns.

My dad’s nickname for me is ‘Tiger’.

Now, my wrists look like a tiger.

Me: I found a group of furries in the woods.

Voice in back: Well, it looks like we're going huntin'.

Q: What do you call a black prostitute in space?

A: The Blackhole.

I hate prom in Alabama. They always say, "Uhh, actually this is our family reunion." We are in Alabama, so they are the same thing.

Why are there so many scars and cuts on your arm?

Because it's a battlefield.

Help, my ADHD is so bad that not even I can focus in a concentration camp.

Why did the Xbox player cross the road? To render in the buildings.

It's better being depressed and suicidal than being happy, know why? Happiness never lasts forever.

Son: “Dad, did you get the results of the DNA test back?”

Dad: “Call me George.”

The population in Ireland's capital started rapidly growing. In fact, it's Dublin!

What’s a kid with Down syndrome's favorite candy... Grunts.

I told a crippled guy he is immortal because he can't kick the bucket.

Hey, are you suicide? Because I want to do you!

Let's play carpenter. First, we'll get hammered, then I'll nail you.