Short jokes

No one cares if you bully an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

I'm not saying you're ugly, but you're the reason God created miscarriages!

My dad is so good at instruments, he said he loves to finger "a minor."

I once fought with a man in a wheelchair.

He couldn't stand a chance.

So today I heard a friend say she had a stalker. I can confirm I've never seen a stalker following her.

What's the difference between an orphan and cotton?

One gets picked.

Q: What kind of club do roosters go to? A: The Chicken Strip.

I made that one up.

You're so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are K, F, and C.

Welcome to Morgan's Morgue and Pizzeria where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!

Welcome to the roadkill cafe, where yesterday's crash is today's cash.

What did the short Chinese man say when he was called a dwarf? "Da fok yu sai tu meee."

What do you say when you see your TV floating away at night?

"Drop it, Jamal!"

Guys, we should not make fun of 9/11. Like, that stuff is just plain out crazy. Like, you all should not let that fly.

Maths...

....Addition, frustration, subtraction, aggression, depression.

I don't understand why, when I went to the shooting range today, the police came. Like, bro, I always go to elementary schools.

Why don’t midgets fight? They walk away to be the bigger man.

I tried to come up with a funny pun about squirrels, but all my ideas were nuts.

Life is like a film; it goes on, but you can cut at any time.

Q. What's an orphan's favorite South Park episode?

A. The anti-Family Guy episode.

If all your clothes were stolen, what would you go home in?

The dark.