Short jokes
Why was Hitler bad at math?
He could only count to nein.
Why doesn't Mexico compete in the Olympics?
Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump, and swim are in the U.S.
99% of women kiss with their eyes closed, that's why it's so hard to identify the rapist.
Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers? -- To keep his ankles warm.
What is the sun's favorite chocolate bar?
A Milky Way 😱
Q. What do you call a gun that rapes someone?
A. An assault rifle.
When the teacher calls on you and asks you how many people did Hitler kill?
"One, he killed himself."
Doctor: "You're as healthy as a horse!"
Jimmy: "That's great!"
Doctor: "A horse with cancer."
The only thing I do straight is vodka.
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger lickin' good!
What's sad and has no life? The person reading this.
What kind of bee can't fly?
A KOBE.
Why does 9/11 only get a day, but Pride gets an entire month?
Because pride is a bigger tragedy.
What does a house wear?
A dress.
Why do Nazis not wear necklaces, rings, and bracelets? Because they hate jewelry.
what's flat and great for cutting? me.
What did the Asian parents say when they had a disabled kid?
Sum ting wong.
What is the Twin Towers' least favorite song? "I'm Still Standing."
How many Michael Jacksons does it take to screw a light bulb?
Oh wait, Michael Jackson only screws little boys, my bad.
If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?