Short jokes
If you really think about it, every market in Africa is a black market.
I tried being an emo, but I never got the hang of it.
I asked my North Korean friend how it is to live there.
He said he couldn't complain.
What does it mean if you can remember a girl's eye color?
She had small tits.
My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
When you were supposed to help the depressed kid, but not "help" the depressed kid.
How many gays does it take to put in a light bulb?
Only one... but it takes the entire Emergency Room to get it out.
How much semen can a gay man hold? A buttload.
I don't understand why people get offended by incest jokes; they're so family friendly.
What do you get after a leper has a hot bath? ... Porridge.
How did Reese eat her cereal? - Witherspoon!
What's the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler.
This is so sad, Alexa, play Despacito.
A horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
A hamburger walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry. We don't serve food here."
This girl came to me and said, "I got raped in my sleep!"
I replied, "I done it as a joke."
-April 1, 2020
This homeless lady called me ugly, so I told her, "Okay, then I'm going home."
My mind was blown when I saw all the people waving at me.
-JFK
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair. 😎