Short jokes

what's flat and great for cutting? me.

What is the Twin Towers' least favorite song? "I'm Still Standing."

What did the Asian parents say when they had a disabled kid?

Sum ting wong.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Apaches.

Apaches who?

Apaches on your eye.

What is the difference between Bin Laden and Santa? One stops at the top of the skyscraper.

What does a house wear?

A dress.

Why did the blondie put her iPad in the blender? To make apple juice.

What's your favorite color of the alphabet? True or false?

What do you call a cow that was hit by an anvil? A flat iron steak.

How many Michael Jacksons does it take to screw a light bulb?

Oh wait, Michael Jackson only screws little boys, my bad.

What's the difference between necrophilia and a choking fetish? 15 seconds.

Why did the transgender girl want to be a boy?

Because momma never raised no pussy.

My wife and I watched The Perfect Murder together. Excellent movie, but what disturbed me though was my wife constantly taking notes.

Got a PS5 for my little brother yesterday, best trade I'd ever done.

How do you name a disabled Asian?

Throw the wheelchair down the stairs.

First of all, if a woman sues Bill Cosby for drugging and rape 50 years ago, and she could still remember it, it couldn't have been all bad.

Some say Stephen Hawking was a genius, but I never heard him say anything intelligent.

I nailed my sister's... picture on the wall.

You dirty-minded bastard!

What did the cop say after he shot the ginger?

"I guess orange is the new black."

Shit! My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs! I've been his customer for 4 years, but I had no idea he was a barber.