Hang jokes
When it's been Halloween for a few months, but there's still a body hanging from your neighbor's tree.
Why couldn't the Japanese man give a high five?
Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
What's a depressed kid's favorite holiday?.... Christmas because everything is hanging.
Are you a rope? Because I wanna hang with you.
A cell phone in an upscale gym locker room in NYC rings and the man puts it on loud speaker next to him. Everyone else in the room stops to listen:
Man: Hello? Woman: Hi honey, it's me. Are you at the club? Man: Yes. Woman: I’m out shopping and found a beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000 – is it OK if I buy it? Man: Sure, go ahead if you like it that much. Woman: I also stopped by that new Lexus dealership and saw one of the new models I really like – it’s on an opening special. Man: How much? Woman: $90,000. Man: Wow! OK, but for that price I want it with all the options. Woman: Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Jamie and found out that the house we wanted to buy last year is back on the market... they’re asking $980,000 for it. Remember it was well over a million when we looked at it? Man: I dunno. Make an offer for $900,000 and they’ll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $80,000 if that’s what you really want. Woman: OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much! Man: I love you to.
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room were staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.
The man turns around and says: “Anyone know whose phone this is?”
What do Jesus and a painting have in common?
They hang by nails.
What hangs low?
Balls.
What do suicidal people do in their spare time?
Hang out.
I'm going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I'm a piñata.
“Did you show him the pictures of our cats?”
“Yes.”
“Did you hang ‘em?”
Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number.
I wanna be a Christmas decoration cause they always do be hanging.
A depressed boy went to high five a tree, guess what the tree did?
The tree left him hanging.
My kids found me in the family tree. I was hanging there for hours.
I was watching a TV show where a guy was hanging off a cliff, then the series ended... I guess you can say that they left that guy on a cliffhanger!
Why do emos like circles? Because they can hang out with them.
Emo kids are so good at kicking football. I hear they have good hang time.
A pirate walked into a bar with his ship's steering wheel hanging off his pants. The bartender says, "Hey! What's with the steering wheel?" The pirate says, "I don't know but it's driving me nuts!"
A man walks into a bar and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. When he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says, "If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone's drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try?" The man decided not to take the risk. He thought the steaks were too high.
What is the difference between an emo kid and a jug of milk?
The milk doesn't hang itself after it gets dumped.