Short jokes
I can find the end of time before I find your hairline.
Why is a sick person and California similar? They tend to burn up.
I've sadly received a rejection letter from NASA. Strangely, it says there's no space on their training program.
I got caught masturbating in the bath by my mum!
I said, "Mum, I’ll wash it as hard and fast as I want!"
Are you a keyboard? Cause you're my type.
Your hairline looks like someone tried to erase it using Microsoft Paint.
What is an orphan's favorite quote in Star Wars?
"I am your father."
Me and my stepmom went into the forest.
I think I hid the body pretty well, but now I have to hide the gun.
Why didn't Logan Paul high five the Asian man? Because he loves to leave Asians hanging.
Should I buy COVID-19 or wait until COVID-20 comes out?
Teacher: Where's your homework?
Student: At home...
Teacher: What's it doing there?
Student: Having a better time than me.
Get up, you lazybones!
"Déjà moo": The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
Is Stephen Hawking under warranty? If so, can I bring him back to Currys PC World?
Why was the astronaut washing her hands?
She was getting ready to eat launch.
What is 80 feet wide and has 22 teeth?
Answer: The front row of a Trump Rally!
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer?
You can’t pull on her hair when you’re raping her.
What sort of file turns a one inch hole into a two inch hole?
A pedophile.
Stage 4 cancer is like a woman. You can’t beat it, but if you do, she’ll probably come back again.
My grandma refused to be an organ donor. She was buried with all her musical instruments.