Short jokes
What does one math book say to the other? -- "Don't bother me. I've got my own problems!"
Say what you will of pedophiles, but you can't ignore their problem with immature ejaculation.
My wife is like a mirror.
I can never look at it.
My dad always wanted one last smoke before his death, so we smoked his ashes.
You wanna know who didn't kick the bucket? Stephen Hawking didn't; nor did he bite the dust.
Kenny is living with his girlfriend now.
He just moved back in with his mom.
Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms?
Because he told the man to put his hands up.
What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school? -- "Mumbai!"
What do you call emos that live in the Bahamas?
Tropical depressions.
"the floor is lava!"
- everyone, Pompeii 79 A.D.
Do you know the TV show "Naked and Afraid?" Well, that's what my grandpa and I played when I was young.
My dad still hasn’t come back with the milk. Now we are stuck eating dry cereal.
What happened when your parents dropped you off at the orphanage? They got sued for littering.
Emo kids counting be like: 1, 2, 3 come hang with me! 4, 5, 6 Gonna get new slits! 7, 8, 9 Suicide! 10, 11, 12 Bring some pills!
Emo girls be like: How much am I worth...
Girl, scan the code on your wrist!
What did a terrorist say when New York didn't want his food?
"Here Comes The Airplane!"
Maybe if I fall in love with my depression, it'll leave me too.
Your mom is so ugly. When she goes to the dentist, they make her face down.
What do you call dynamite on steroids? - High Explosive.
I would never kill an animal. I'm more of a people person.