Short jokes
What is Beethoven doing now?
Decomposing.
There was an air crash of a Boeing 737-800 which can carry around 300 passengers.
It crashed in a cemetery.
They recovered 500 bodies.
I asked my doctor if it was normal for one of my nuts to be bigger than the other two.
The daughter milked her dad. It turns out it wasn't milk...
What was the last hat Princess Diana wore?
A bonnet.
Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed.
I've just started a new business making people breathe in large amounts of helium. They all speak very highly of it.
Yo mama so fat, when she joined NASA, they put her in orbit and the next day there was a lunar eclipse.
When Stephen Hawking found out about physics, he was speechless.
Why is the sea salty?
Because the land never waves back.
Why does a movie set say "break a leg"? Because they have a cast.
I went to the National Redhead Meeting yesterday.
Not a soul in sight.
Why do women have cleaner minds than men? Because they change theirs more often.
What place can you always find suicidal cows at?
"McDonald's."
Your adopted.
Two cows standing in a paddock, one says, "Moo." The other turns to him and says, "I was just going to say that!"
Jack and Jill popped some pills to get a little tipsy.
Jack got a surprise and bloodshot eyes because Jill gave him a roofie.
If tomatoes are a fruit, does that mean ketchup is a smoothie?
What did God say when he made the Black human? Oh no, I burnt another one!
Say what you will of pedophiles, but you can't ignore their problem with immature ejaculation.