Short jokes
I want to date depression cuz at least I know they won't leave me.
I told my psychiatrist I was going to go kill myself. He asked if I was paying for this appointment in check or cash.
Yo mama so ugly!
The mime broke his 30 year streak of silence!!!!
Children in the dark make mistakes.
Mistakes in the dark make children.
What's an astronaut's favorite candy? A Milky Way!
Me: Stepping on a scale to weigh myself.
Everyone else in the minefield...
Alyas' dad died, that's comedy. Something not funny is like BLM.
What do you do when you finish a magazine at school? Put another one in and continue!
bully: "Your life's a joke."
me: "My life's not a joke, jokes have meaning."
I was watching my son play at the park, and a lady asked me, "Which one is yours?" And for fun, I said, "I don't know, I'm still choosing."
What does a bicycle and Jade Goody have in common?
They can't reach 30.
Teacher: Okay class, what's a word that begins with A?
Student: Apple!
Teacher: Good! What's a word beginning with B?
Student:....Bitch...
What's a pirate's favorite shop?
Arrrrrrrrgos.
I tend to think my ‘depression’ is for attention. I guess I have depressed depression.
What do you call a smart blonde?
Nonexistent.
What’s the difference between Disney+ and P*rnhub?
Disney+ wants you to hate your stepmother.
Yo mamma is so slutty, she uses a submarine as a dildo because it's long, hard, and filled with seamen.
What do you call a black person eating chicken, watermelon, and drinking Kool-Aid?
Reality.
What’s worse than George Bush doing 9/11? Jeffrey Epstein doing nine Elevens.
A fat person with autism is a bit like decent sunscreen... A broad spectrum.