Short jokes
What happened when your parents dropped you off at the orphanage? They got sued for littering.
Emo kids counting be like: 1, 2, 3 come hang with me! 4, 5, 6 Gonna get new slits! 7, 8, 9 Suicide! 10, 11, 12 Bring some pills!
Maybe if I fall in love with my depression, it'll leave me too.
Emo girls be like: How much am I worth...
Girl, scan the code on your wrist!
How did the cow break up with the other cow? He said he moo-ved on.
After watching Star Wars 8, I have to say Snoke was half the man I expected him to be.
I would never kill an animal. I'm more of a people person.
What instrument do a pair of sheep play? The two-baaaa.
The optimist thinks the glass is half full. The pessimist thinks the glass is half empty. The feminist thinks the glass is raping them.
What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?
An expiration date.
Oh, my fat joke offended you? Which one of your chins did I hurt?
Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimers? Yeah, neither have they.
How do you execute a retard?
The Electric Wheelchair.
You're so fat, astronomers discovered a planet larger than Earth but smaller than Uranus.
What do you call it when Hitler puts retards in the oven? Baked potatoes.
your mom
What's the difference between calling someone dad or daddy? How you come from his balls.
When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.
My girlfriend is a porn star. -- She will kill me if she finds out.
What do you get after a leper has a hot bath? ... Porridge.