Short jokes
You're so bald, the Hair Club for Men has elected you president.
The doctor told me my temperature was exactly 98.6 degrees. I felt relieved until he said, “Celsius.”
What does the ocean do to its friends? It waves. (*Sorry, I wasn’t making any jokes for a while. I was getting sick of this thing.*)
Anonymous 1: Why are you crying?
Anonymous 2: No, buddy, come to my finral.
I didn't steal it. 🌚
Last time I got caught stealing a calendar, I got 12 months.
What's a hamburger's favorite color?
Burgundy.
Why did the wither skeleton fail his test?
Because his answers were netherrite.
Mommy, Mommy, are you an archer?
"Shut up and keep the apple on your head still."
"Rapeboat momma" on OnlyFans. Rapeboat is her number one sub.
Why did the kid throw the clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly.
Gender reveals be going crazy nowadays.
I had a friend who was a deep sleeper. One day, a fire started in his house. Now he's a really deep sleeper.
What do you call a redhead in a fridge?
I'm pretty sure her name was Kelly.
My sister said that I am a baby, so I said, "Waa, waa."
You suck harder than a vacuum ever will :)
*Shrek* Bend ogre.
What do you call a man in a wheelchair with no legs?
Geo dude.
Pigeons can be annoying at times, especially when their bones get stuck in-between your teeth.
Very funny battery joke.
What do you say when a handicapped man forgets something? "He knew it like the back of his hand."