Short jokes
I looked up "I have whiplash" on WebMD, and it diagnosed me with slavery.
Alyas' dad died, that's comedy. Something not funny is like BLM.
What's an astronaut's favorite candy? A Milky Way!
I want to date depression cuz at least I know they won't leave me.
Yo mama so ugly!
The mime broke his 30 year streak of silence!!!!
Children in the dark make mistakes.
Mistakes in the dark make children.
I told my psychiatrist I was going to go kill myself. He asked if I was paying for this appointment in check or cash.
Why did the hooker quit her job?
She had a nut allergy.
What does a bicycle and Jade Goody have in common?
They can't reach 30.
bully: "Your life's a joke."
me: "My life's not a joke, jokes have meaning."
I was watching my son play at the park, and a lady asked me, "Which one is yours?" And for fun, I said, "I don't know, I'm still choosing."
What do you do when you finish a magazine at school? Put another one in and continue!
I tend to think my ‘depression’ is for attention. I guess I have depressed depression.
Teacher: Okay class, what's a word that begins with A?
Student: Apple!
Teacher: Good! What's a word beginning with B?
Student:....Bitch...
What's a pirate's favorite shop?
Arrrrrrrrgos.
Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.
Stormtrooper: What should we do with this coffee?
Palpatine: Brew it!
If hay is for horses, what is for unicorns?
Haaaaaaay!
What was Frankenstein's second job? -- He was a bodybuilder.
If you ever get mad at a person that crumpled their leg, don't forget that they can hide, but they can't run.