Short jokes
Cheap oil, no immigration, and no school shootings.
Corona did what Trump promised.
What do you call it when a drunk cowgirl falls off her stool at the bar?
A hoedown.
What do you call two gay Irishmen?
Patrick Fitz Gerald, and Gerald Fitz Patrick.
you play gatcha life more like go get a life.
My sister is pregnant, I'm gonna be a dad.
Yeah, you can call me daddy, son.
Knock knock. Who's there? Parents. Parents who? That's what an orphan would say.
I showed my girlfriend my taser. She was stunned.
I was driving and accidentally hit a crippled kid. They were still breathing, so I told them to walk it off.
What do you call an emo kid with light up shoes?
A human chandelier.
What is the difference between Batman and a black man?
Batman can go out at night without Robin.
What do lesbians do while having their period?
They finger paint.
What makes an ISIS joke funny?
The execution.
I finally know why my brain doesn't work!
On the left side, there's nothing right, and on the right side, there's nothing left.
Government Briefing:
Joe Biden had a meeting with the cabinet today...
...He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the desk.
I have a dog named Syndrome.
But it gets kinda awkward when he jumps on someone and I have to shout, "DOWN SYNDROME!"
What do you call two female lovers spying on the government?
Lesbionage.
What’s worse than George Bush doing 9/11? Jeffrey Epstein doing nine Elevens.
Roses are red, eggs come in a dozen, do I need to revive Hitler to teach you how to use a goddamn oven?
It's not rape if they can't say no. Duct tape.
A hamburger walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry. We don't serve food here."