Short jokes
Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers? -- To keep his ankles warm.
What's the difference between a man and a table?
The table doesn't cry when I break its legs.
What is the sun's favorite chocolate bar?
A Milky Way 😱
When the teacher calls on you and asks you how many people did Hitler kill?
"One, he killed himself."
Doctor: "You're as healthy as a horse!"
Jimmy: "That's great!"
Doctor: "A horse with cancer."
The only thing I do straight is vodka.
Why don't Chinese kids celebrate Christmas?
Because they make the toys.
So, is a homosexual in a coma a fruit or a vegetable?
What’s the difference between an Indian and Jewish person?
An Indian person is burnt after death.
How is slavery different from Pokémon?
There are different types of Pokémon.
Why does 9/11 only get a day, but Pride gets an entire month?
Because pride is a bigger tragedy.
What's your favorite color of the alphabet? True or false?
What does a house wear?
A dress.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Apaches.
Apaches who?
Apaches on your eye.
What is the difference between Bin Laden and Santa? One stops at the top of the skyscraper.
Sometimes, stairs get me down.
Alzheimer's protesters march chanting. "What do we want? Better treatment... When do we want it? ...Want what?"
What do you call a cow that was hit by an anvil? A flat iron steak.
What is the Twin Towers' least favorite song? "I'm Still Standing."
"Oh, waiter! Waiter!"
"Yes, sir?"
"Do you have frog's legs?"
"Why, yes."
"Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!"