Short jokes
What is the difference between Batman and a black man?
Batman can go out at night without Robin.
What do you call a white girl with a yeast infection? A cracker with cheese.
What's the difference between Carrie Underwood and a robot?
A robot can feign empathy.
I tried being an emo, but I never got the hang of it.
What does it mean if you can remember a girl's eye color?
She had small tits.
What vegetable is good for your memory? A carrot, because the last time I had one shoved up my ass, I never forgot about it.
What has four legs and one arm?
A Rottweiler in a children’s playground.
What do you call a black person eating chicken, watermelon, and drinking Kool-Aid?
Reality.
They made a horror movie about the Chinese president.
It's called "Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey."
My sister is pregnant, I'm gonna be a dad.
Yeah, you can call me daddy, son.
Knock knock. Who's there? Parents. Parents who? That's what an orphan would say.
Q: Do you know why transgender people are good at being carpenters?
A: Because they have more experience cutting off their wood.
What's the same with shoes and slaves?
When they get loose, you tie them up.
When the orphan got a job as a priest, what was his name?
Father Les.
Your mum is so old that when I told her to act her age, she died.
My doctor prescribed a new drug to treat my depression.
It’s called Enditol.
I used to suffer from depression but through hard work, persistence, and never giving up..\n\nI now suffer from anxiety AND depression :\
How does a cannibal start a wedding reception?
He toasts the groom.
Friend: "UR LIT BRO!!"
Me: "That's what my sleeve said to my arm."
There was a girl I used to date, only to find out that she used to be a man. You could say, she put me in a trans.