Short jokes
Are you an archaeologist? Because I’ve got a bone for you to examine.
Why did Shakespeare only write using quills?
Pencils confused him: 2b or not 2b.
What do you call it when two transgender midgets have sex?
And microtransaction.
I don't understand why people get offended by incest jokes; they're so family friendly.
Roses are red, eggs come in a dozen, do I need to revive Hitler to teach you how to use a goddamn oven?
What is the difference between Batman and a black man?
Batman can go out at night without Robin.
My girlfriend called me pedophile today.
Big word for a 12-year-old.
What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common?
No ballroom.
I showed my girlfriend my taser. She was stunned.
When the US Army found Chinese soldiers selling secrets to China, they said, "Looks like we have some chinks in our armor."
What do you call an emo kid with light up shoes?
A human chandelier.
The CEO of IKEA was just elected Prime Minister in Sweden.
He should have his cabinet together by the end of the weekend.
What does it mean if you can remember a girl's eye color?
She had small tits.
What vegetable is good for your memory? A carrot, because the last time I had one shoved up my ass, I never forgot about it.
What do you call a white girl with a yeast infection? A cracker with cheese.
Why is it a bad idea to eat a clock? Because it's so time-consuming.
What do Drake and math have in common? They’re both hard for kids.
Cheap oil, no immigration, and no school shootings.
Corona did what Trump promised.
Government Briefing:
Joe Biden had a meeting with the cabinet today...
...He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the desk.
I have a dog named Syndrome.
But it gets kinda awkward when he jumps on someone and I have to shout, "DOWN SYNDROME!"