Short jokes
I wrote down a speech at home yesterday.
When I got to school, I was speechless.
Why wasn't the infant's entire body found?
Because the limbs are scattered around 43°17.7355’N, 113°58.4205’W.
Q: Why do depressed people always have colored hair?
A: That’s as close as they can get to dye.
Give a blind kid a torch and tell him it's a hairdryer.
Osama Bin Laden is the best Angry Birds player of all time.
You are what happens when women drink during pregnancy.
Why do bunnies like Bruno Mars? Because he got 24 carrots.
What do you call a cleaning skeleton?
The Grim Sweeper.
Did you hear about the magician who did magic with chocolate?
I heard he had loads of Twix up his sleeve.
The closest thing in a depressed person's life is a knife and his/her throat.
It's not funny to joke about orphans. Without any education, they'd never understand what the jokes mean.
What do a relationship and suicidal thought have in common? They’ll both end soon.
How do you get an emo kid to jump?
A bridge.
What are Michael Jackson's pronouns? "He he."
If you want to get mental damage, visit the site:
https://schlechtewitze.com
I realized that a really bad joke and my life are the exact same thing.
My dad brought me some sunglasses, but it still wasn't enough to keep my son out of my life.
My mom wanted me to build her a shed for her useless things, then she told me to go live in it.
"You look like you've lost some weight."
"Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!"
Me: Stepping on a scale to weigh myself.
Everyone else in the minefield...