Short jokes
Why can't Asians play cricket?
Because they will eat the ball.
Today I heard someone playing "Dancing Queen" on the didgeridoo.
It was very Abba-riginal.
What is the difference between your dad and a video game?
Your dad doesn’t beat you.
My ex was so full of shit, she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.
My grandfather killed Hitler.
Get it? Get it?
Y'all heard of Poptarts, eh?
Well why are there no Momtarts?
Because of the PASTRYarchy!
What do you call a terrible bus company?
Stagecoach Highlands.
Why in Alabama people don't use doggy style... Cuz you don't turn your back to your family.
My Mom said, "I have a daughter that killed herself for getting bullied."
Well, I said, "Have you seen her?"
Two sentence horror stories go.
I'll start: Monokuma.
One man's trash is another man's treasure, he said when he found out his parents split up and he is being adopted.
Why the fuck is this guy calling me a crying bitch?
Why do orphans not play sport?
Because they need parents' permission.
Kid 1: I like you! Do you like me?
Kid 2: No. You never asked if I love you!
Kid 1: Aw, do you love me?
Kid 2: No!
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes, and everyone is trying to shit on ya.
What do you call a wizard who can't secure a girl? Fumbledore.
How many potatoes to feed the elephant?
Just told Putin to get some b*tches.
Waiting for 3801 missiles to strike my house.
I play with balls. Not me, the girl that was "playing something."