What does a Mexican Highlander say?
"There can be only Juan!"
Short Jokes
What does one math book say to the other? -- "Don't bother me. I've got my own problems!"
What do you call a 3-sum with a girl with AIDS?
Nut in the butt.
What do kids and drugs have in common? I sell both of them.
What did Melania ever see in Donald Trump?
$2 billion and high cholesterol.
I told my mother I wanted a brother for Christmas. The next day, I saw her in the strip club across the street.
An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away... it can keep ANYONE away.
if you throw it hard enough.
Say what you will of pedophiles, but you can't ignore their problem with immature ejaculation.
Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimers? Yeah, neither have they.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some water. Jill pulled up her dress and said, "Daddy, fuck me harder."
My dad always wanted one last smoke before his death, so we smoked his ashes.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and have some fun.
Silly Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son.
You wanna know who didn't kick the bucket? Stephen Hawking didn't; nor did he bite the dust.
Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms?
Because he told the man to put his hands up.
Emo kids counting be like: 1, 2, 3 come hang with me! 4, 5, 6 Gonna get new slits! 7, 8, 9 Suicide! 10, 11, 12 Bring some pills!
What happened when your parents dropped you off at the orphanage? They got sued for littering.
Why do orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”!
"the floor is lava!"
- everyone, Pompeii 79 A.D.
What do you call emos that live in the Bahamas?
Tropical depressions.
Why can’t the blind man find love?
It’s called love at first sight.
