Short jokes
How did Reese eat her cereal? - Witherspoon!
What is sprinkled around the Pokémon floor? Oh right. Ash's ashes.
What's the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler.
For all the talk of Donald Trump loving America, most of his lovers are imported from Eastern Europe.
This girl came to me and said, "I got raped in my sleep!"
I replied, "I done it as a joke."
-April 1, 2020
I can’t believe it’s been over a year since Kobe decided he’s too good to wait in traffic.
This is so sad, Alexa, play Despacito.
When two wheelchairs hit each other, is it a fender bender?
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
You have a six-minute timer to live, but when you breathe, it resets.
The more people who like to eat Tide Pods, the less idiots we have in the world. 😁
Astronauts just found water on Mars! Mars: 1. Africa: 0.
Roses are red, shit is brown, Get that dick out my ass so we can go to town.
What do my clothes and a depressed person not have in common?
My clothes don't hang themselves...
Why did Helen Keller ride a broken roller coaster?
She didn't see anything wrong with it.
My cock was in the book of world records...
The librarian told me to take it out.
Why do ballerinas wear tutus?
The one-ones are too small and the three-threes are too big.
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance, they looked like hare.
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
What does Michael Jackson and a lion have in common?
They're both predators.