Short jokes
Suicide bombers, carry bombs and remember to breathe.
What do you call your retard friend?
A homie with an extra cromie.
Why don't orphans play Minecraft?
Because Technoblade is on the platform.
Okay, so I have a dairy and sugar allergy, and if I eat it, I get REALLY CONSTIPATED, so this is me when I’m constipated ᕙ(⇀‸↼‵‵)ᕗ lol.
I got a sister.
That was a big mistake.
Why did the snail paint a big "S" on his car?
Because he wanted people to say look at that S-car go when he rolled by.
What's 2+2? FORE-head.
If you have a pair and it runs around the street, what do you call it? A running pair.
What do you call an airplane that doesn’t fly?
A plane wingless.
Alright, my sister is ALWAYS dancing randomly all the time, and what I say is, "Go get you boyfriend, dude!"
Your mama so old, her first Christmas was the first Christmas!
How can you tell when a comic passes gas? Something smells funny.
What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?
A 24 killstreak!
I miss my wife, Tails.
Your teeth split faster than your parents' divorce settlement.
What did the boy say to his brother at chemistry class?
"Hey BrO!"
Tell someone to spell "Icup."
Answer: It will say, "I see you pee!"
A guy went back to his apartment. Five minutes later, he said to the receptionist, "It doesn't fit!" So she gave him a new key.
Rapboat has to drug his own drink to get laid.
What does a waiter in a Chinese restaurant call a customer that won't leave a tip? A "plick."