Short jokes
Your mom is so ugly. When she goes to the dentist, they make her face down.
Maybe if I fall in love with my depression, it'll leave me too.
How did the cow break up with the other cow? He said he moo-ved on.
After watching Star Wars 8, I have to say Snoke was half the man I expected him to be.
I would never kill an animal. I'm more of a people person.
If at first you don't succeed,
Maybe Russian Roulette isn't for you.
What instrument do a pair of sheep play? The two-baaaa.
What do you call dynamite on steroids? - High Explosive.
Where was Moses when the lights went out? - In the dark!
What’s the German word for BRA? Keep two from floppin'.
What are some other names for rape? There’s the classic “struggle snuggle,” but then there’s my personal favorite “fuck fight”.
What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?
An expiration date.
The optimist thinks the glass is half full. The pessimist thinks the glass is half empty. The feminist thinks the glass is raping them.
How do you execute a retard?
The Electric Wheelchair.
What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school? -- "Mumbai!"
You're so fat, astronomers discovered a planet larger than Earth but smaller than Uranus.
What do you call it when Hitler puts retards in the oven? Baked potatoes.
your mom
What's the difference between calling someone dad or daddy? How you come from his balls.
Roses are red, shit is brown, Get that dick out my ass so we can go to town.