Short jokes
I told a crippled guy he is immortal because he can't kick the bucket.
How does a cannibal start a wedding reception?
He toasts the groom.
What's the difference between my car and a school bus? A school bus takes them back home.
What does a pedophile mostly pound on a piano?
A minor.
My doctor prescribed a new drug to treat my depression.
It’s called Enditol.
I used to suffer from depression but through hard work, persistence, and never giving up..\n\nI now suffer from anxiety AND depression :\
I can explain Superman and Batman movies in one sentence.
Two orphans fighting in the rain.
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can't have medicine on an empty stomach.
My mom asks, "How did you do this?" Me: "Naw, I did it with a fork. WHAT D'YA THINK?-"
Someone said to stop hurting myself, but I'm still trying to cut my arms off.
When the orphan got a job as a priest, what was his name?
Father Les.
Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person.
"Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf Hitler, 1945.
Friend: "UR LIT BRO!!"
Me: "That's what my sleeve said to my arm."
Me: I found a group of furries in the woods.
Voice in back: Well, it looks like we're going huntin'.
It's not funny to joke about orphans. Without any education, they'd never understand what the jokes mean.
Why do kids prefer to spend more time with their dad than their mom?
They already know that their dad is gonna get "Milk" and never return.
Why does Michael Jackson like Doge Miner? He thinks it's about minors dressed in doge costumes.
What do a relationship and suicidal thought have in common? They’ll both end soon.
How do you get an emo kid to jump?
A bridge.
I ate the Emo Emo no Mi from One Piece. It gave me the powers of black hair, depression, and suicidal thoughts.