Short jokes
How does a peadophile help a kid with maths? He adds the bed, divides the clothes, and multiplies with the whole classroom.
Apparently, rock bottom has a basement.... :\
What do you call a passport for Mandalorians?
A Pre Visa!
How many hookers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, cause they'll screw anything.
Me: I look up to you.
Friend: Wow, thanks!
Me: But in general cuz your so tall.
Girls are like volcanoes.
You never know when they will erupt.
Seat belts are like the condom for cars.
Sir, I mustache you a question...
Ah, never mind, I'll just shave it for later.
What does it mean if you can remember a girl's eye color?
She had small tits.
What vegetable is good for your memory? A carrot, because the last time I had one shoved up my ass, I never forgot about it.
What do you call a white girl with a yeast infection? A cracker with cheese.
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can't have medicine on an empty stomach.
Stephen Hawking once stood up to bow down to Chuck Norris.
I took an hour-long shower. The German officers were looking at me kinda scared.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
The dwarf who couldn’t reach the doorbell.
Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person.
"Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf Hitler, 1945.
Your hairline looks like the McDonald's sign M.
What do you call a smart blonde?
Nonexistent.
I tried being an emo, but I never got the hang of it.
For all the talk of Donald Trump loving America, most of his lovers are imported from Eastern Europe.