Short jokes
When two wheelchairs hit each other, is it a fender bender?
What's the difference between a smart blonde and a dinosaur?
The dinosaur once existed.
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
Why are Asian's eyes always squinted?
Nukes are bright.
For all the talk of Donald Trump loving America, most of his lovers are imported from Eastern Europe.
Astronauts just found water on Mars! Mars: 1. Africa: 0.
Roses are red, shit is brown, Get that dick out my ass so we can go to town.
The more people who like to eat Tide Pods, the less idiots we have in the world. 😁
What do my clothes and a depressed person not have in common?
My clothes don't hang themselves...
Why did Helen Keller ride a broken roller coaster?
She didn't see anything wrong with it.
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance, they looked like hare.
What do you call 2 Indians on a dating website? Connect the dots.
What does Michael Jackson and a lion have in common?
They're both predators.
Why do ballerinas wear tutus?
The one-ones are too small and the three-threes are too big.
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
I asked my doctor if it was normal for one of my nuts to be bigger than the other two.
There was an air crash of a Boeing 737-800 which can carry around 300 passengers.
It crashed in a cemetery.
They recovered 500 bodies.
What is Beethoven doing now?
Decomposing.
All you need is a razor blade in life.
What do you call someone with a pindie spot?
Stop screen recording.