Roses are red, shit is brown, Get that dick out my ass so we can go to town.
Short Jokes
What do you get after a leper has a hot bath? ... Porridge.
Why doesn't Mexico compete in the Olympics?
Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump, and swim are in the U.S.
your mom
When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.
Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers? -- To keep his ankles warm.
What is the sun's favorite chocolate bar?
A Milky Way 😱
When the teacher calls on you and asks you how many people did Hitler kill?
"One, he killed himself."
My cock was in the book of world records...
The librarian told me to take it out.
My girlfriend is a porn star. -- She will kill me if she finds out.
Doctor: "You're as healthy as a horse!"
Jimmy: "That's great!"
Doctor: "A horse with cancer."
The only thing I do straight is vodka.
What's sad and has no life? The person reading this.
Q. What do you call a gun that rapes someone?
A. An assault rifle.
99% of women kiss with their eyes closed, that's why it's so hard to identify the rapist.
I asked my doctor if it was normal for one of my nuts to be bigger than the other two.
What is Beethoven doing now?
Decomposing.
Why do Nazis not wear necklaces, rings, and bracelets? Because they hate jewelry.
"Oh, waiter! Waiter!"
"Yes, sir?"
"Do you have frog's legs?"
"Why, yes."
"Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!"
My mom said I need Jesus in my life, so I drunk up the holy water ;}
