Short jokes
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers.
To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
Oh, my fat joke offended you? Which one of your chins did I hurt?
Why aren't koalas actual bears?
Because they don't meet the koalafications.
My dad always wanted one last smoke before his death, so we smoked his ashes.
Go commit Thanos finger snap.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a little fun.
Jack got mad and kicked Jill in the ass because she couldn't make him cum.
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is a refreshing summertime snack; the other one is a watermelon.
Why does the nurse need a red pen?
In case she has to draw blood.
What is the difference between the rook and the bishop? The rook goes straight, while the bishop moves diagonally.
What do the mafia and pussies have in common?
One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.
What do you call 2 Indians on a dating website? Connect the dots.
What do you call a patronizing criminal walking down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
What is a retard's favorite race? The grand autismo.
What did God say when he made the Black human? Oh no, I burnt another one!
What do kids and drugs have in common? I sell both of them.
What did music tell the pancakes? -- B flat.
Rust in peace.
There was an air crash of a Boeing 737-800 which can carry around 300 passengers.
It crashed in a cemetery.
They recovered 500 bodies.
what do you call a lazy gay?
someone who comes straight out of the closet, and goes straight to the couch.
What are some other names for rape? There’s the classic “struggle snuggle,” but then there’s my personal favorite “fuck fight”.