Short jokes
I wrote down a speech at home yesterday.
When I got to school, I was speechless.
If you want to get mental damage, visit the site:
https://schlechtewitze.com
Osama Bin Laden is the best Angry Birds player of all time.
You are what happens when women drink during pregnancy.
I told my psychiatrist I was going to go kill myself. He asked if I was paying for this appointment in check or cash.
Why did the hooker quit her job?
She had a nut allergy.
Why do animals in polar regions have thick fur? Because they don't have a barber! 🤣 🤣 🤣
Why did Mary have a little lamb? Because a big one was too much in bed.
Why wasn't the infant's entire body found?
Because the limbs are scattered around 43°17.7355’N, 113°58.4205’W.
Your mom is so fat that when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed, but the sidewalk cracked up.
My teacher said, "I'm gonna leave soon, I don't want to be here anymore!" So I shot her.
Why don’t witches wear underwear?
To get a better grip on their broom.
Give a blind kid a torch and tell him it's a hairdryer.
What is the worst comedy for disabled people?
Stand-up comedy!
Q: Why do depressed people always have colored hair?
A: That’s as close as they can get to dye.
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can't have medicine on an empty stomach.
I took an hour-long shower. The German officers were looking at me kinda scared.
Why did the Japanese NOT shoot down the American plane that was dropping atomic bombs?
From what their eyes saw, it was a piece of rice.
Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person.
"Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf Hitler, 1945.
Why was the Tower of Pisa always leaning?
Cuz it wanted better accuracy than the Twin Towers.