Short jokes
What do Drake and math have in common? They’re both hard for kids.
You should know how important it is to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.
Where do poor Italians live?
The spaghetto.
My wife said I have no sense of direction.
I said, "Where did that come from?"
What do alcoholics and necrophiliacs have in common?
They both like cracking open a cold one.
What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common?
No ballroom.
Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?
Why is the German blind?
Because he's a "not see."
My grandma asked me if I could visit her.
I told her no, I don’t like graveyards.
what's another name for cumming inside of a woman?
loading the dishwasher.
Don't do suicide shit. Nearly killed me, tbh. 🙏🙏🙏🙏
Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
How does a cannibal start a wedding reception?
He toasts the groom.
I saw a fat dude wearing a shirt that said "guess." I said 215kg, he didn't find it as funny.
What's the difference between my car and a school bus? A school bus takes them back home.
My mom asks, "How did you do this?" Me: "Naw, I did it with a fork. WHAT D'YA THINK?-"
I love eating pussy. That’s why the animal shelter is always my go-to for a good meal.
Stephen Hawking once stood up to bow down to Chuck Norris.
I took an hour-long shower. The German officers were looking at me kinda scared.
Why did the Japanese NOT shoot down the American plane that was dropping atomic bombs?
From what their eyes saw, it was a piece of rice.