Short jokes
I bought a book for my blind friend.
And that concludes your French oral. You can put your trousers back up, and I'll see you on Monday.
You know if you go to Wal-Mart, and go to the milk section, you might just find your dads.
I nailed my sister's... picture on the wall.
You dirty-minded bastard!
My wife wanted a present that could go from zero to 80 very quickly.
So I got her a new set of bathroom scales.
I have the best life coach ever, because he taught me to not care. He did it so well that he died last week, and I still don’t care.
Shit! My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs! I've been his customer for 4 years, but I had no idea he was a barber.
I love Muslims, they are great at parties!
They have the best fireworks.
Why couldn't the astronaut put the helmet on his head?
Because he didn't have enough space.
What does an imouto ride?
Onii-san.
Technically, we have all been deeper in our mom than our dads have.
Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his brother in the woods?
What do you call a gay dinosaur?
A stego-sore-ass.
Why were the people in the Twin Towers such good readers?
They went through 110 stories in 10 seconds.
What are some other names for rape? There’s the classic “struggle snuggle,” but then there’s my personal favorite “fuck fight”.
Q: How are Clocks like Pedophiles? A: They both stop at 12.
I tried to come up with a funny pun about squirrels, but all my ideas were nuts.
I wrote down a speech at home yesterday.
When I got to school, I was speechless.
What's the difference between intelligence and apathy?
I don't know! I don't care!
Q. What's an orphan's favorite South Park episode?
A. The anti-Family Guy episode.