Desert eagle jokes
Teacher: What's your favorite animal?
Me: Desert Eagle.
Teacher: Why?
Me: 'Cause it fits in my backpack.
What is a school shooter's favorite animal?
A Desert Eagle.
I was walking in the forest with my gf.
I had a Desert Eagle for protection.
A bear jumped out of the bushes; one shot was enough to put my gf down, and it gave me enough time to run away.
Memes
What can't a Desert Eagle and Barrett do for stealth missions?
They can't be way too loud.
A pirate walks into a tavern with a pirate ship attached to his nutty wuttys. It's driving me nuts!
A troll proceeds to pull out a desert eagle and shoot the pirate in the face. He makes a poggers face and says, "Problem??"
What's the only time you can do almost whatever you want?
When you have a gun in your hand.
I took my girlfriend out the other day... Man, do I love being a sniper.
Due to the rising cost of ammunition, there will be no warning shots.
"Sanderson, fire a warning shot."
"Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher."
"Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger."
Imagine you're playing GTA and you finally found out how to take out a gun: Option 1: shoot someone Option 2: suicide
Me: Aren't they the same thing?