Short jokes
You're so poor, when you kicked a can, a man asked, "Are you moving?"
Why are Asian's eyes always squinted?
Nukes are bright.
I'm in jail for 5 minutes and I already got fucked 15 times. You don't have any idea how much I hate playing Monopoly with my dad.
I can’t believe it’s been over a year since Kobe decided he’s too good to wait in traffic.
What did the maxi pad say to the fart? "You are the wind beneath my wings."
Why do Indians have a red dot on their head?
Because they're recording.
Did you hear about the blind prostitute?
Well, you gotta hand it to her.
I told my mum the refrigerator was running, so she got dressed and ran after it...
4, 6, 8, and 9 have all been killed. 2, 3, 5, 7, and 11 are the prime suspects.
Roses are red, grass is greener. When I think of you, I play with my wiener.
So I got asked why I suddenly started wearing a beret, and I said, "Well, you never know when you need to pick a lock."
Why is the sea salty?
Because the land never waves back.
I was hit on by President Kennedy, too bad I shot him down.
Why don't North Koreans like jazz music?
Because they don't have soul.
What kind of vacuum does an abortion center use? A: Dyson.
What was the last hat Princess Diana wore?
A bonnet.
You're so short, when you were born, the doctor couldn't tell if you were a boy, a girl, or a Jimmy Dean pork sausage.
Teacher: What's your favorite animal?
Me: Desert Eagle.
Teacher: Why?
Me: 'Cause it fits in my backpack.
What's better than winning gold at the Paralympics?
Not being retarded.
I went to the zoo the other day. The only animal there was a dog. It was a Shih-tzu (shit zoo).