What does a bicycle and Jade Goody have in common?
They can't reach 30.
Short Jokes
Teacher: If you keep talking over me, I'll call your parents!
Orphan: You will?
My mom said don't fuck whores.
So I kicked my step sis out the house.
Did you hear about the magician who did magic with chocolate?
I heard he had loads of Twix up his sleeve.
What does a lesbian bring on the second date?
A U-Haul.
Yo mama so ugly!
The mime broke his 30 year streak of silence!!!!
Children in the dark make mistakes.
Mistakes in the dark make children.
What do you do when you finish a magazine at school? Put another one in and continue!
I was watching my son play at the park, and a lady asked me, "Which one is yours?" And for fun, I said, "I don't know, I'm still choosing."
How does a peadophile help a kid with maths? He adds the bed, divides the clothes, and multiplies with the whole classroom.
Apparently, rock bottom has a basement.... :\
I tend to think my ‘depression’ is for attention. I guess I have depressed depression.
What was Frankenstein's second job? -- He was a bodybuilder.
What's the difference between Carrie Underwood and a robot?
A robot can feign empathy.
What do alcoholics and necrophiliacs have in common?
They both like cracking open a cold one.
Knock knock. Who's there? Parents. Parents who? That's what an orphan would say.
What do you call a black person eating chicken, watermelon, and drinking Kool-Aid?
Reality.
What’s the difference between Disney+ and P*rnhub?
Disney+ wants you to hate your stepmother.
What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common?
No ballroom.
I showed my girlfriend my taser. She was stunned.
