Short jokes
What is the difference between a comedian and a clown?
A comedian leads Ukraine, and a clown leads America.
This joke here is the worst.
Can an orphan child be arrested for vandalism, or will the officers ask for their parents to talk to?
We shouldn't call gay guys "fucking cunts" because they aren't fucking cunts, they're fucking assholes.
Putin is the only person whose country is bigger than his mind.
Why did the people get a chicken?
To make eggs.
What is the most common theme in Africa?
Starvation.
Our hairline goes way back before dinosaurs lived.
What do Hiroshima and Nagasaki share in common with balls?
They both drop.
What is a Finnish Spitz's favorite comedian?
Redd Foxx.
Give a man a potato, he is full for a day.
Give a man a poisoned potato, he'll be full for the rest of his life.
I wanted to open a restaurant for the hearing impaired, but the slogan "Enjoy without hesitation" didn't go down so well.
Why did the rapper go to the pet store?
To buy a dog for his bark tracks!
Why does a cow love music?
Because it can play a moo-sical instrument.
What do you call a Spanish toilet?
Elton John.
Where do depressed people go to eat?
Suicide Sonic.
What do you call a sad porno?
A tear jerker.
If you want to punch someone, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
I wrote a joke on MH370… but I don’t know where it went.
What's one piece of stationary gay kids always forget to bring to school? A ruler.