Short jokes
If you want to get mental damage, visit the site:
https://schlechtewitze.com
Any game: "Are you a boy or a girl?"
Non-binary people: *cries*
How many brain cells does a pregnant blonde have?
Two, one for her and one for the baby.
Alyas' dad died, that's comedy. Something not funny is like BLM.
What's an astronaut's favorite candy? A Milky Way!
"You look like you've lost some weight."
"Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!"
bully: "Your life's a joke."
me: "My life's not a joke, jokes have meaning."
I told my psychiatrist I was going to go kill myself. He asked if I was paying for this appointment in check or cash.
I realized that a really bad joke and my life are the exact same thing.
My mom wanted me to build her a shed for her useless things, then she told me to go live in it.
I want to date depression cuz at least I know they won't leave me.
Me: Stepping on a scale to weigh myself.
Everyone else in the minefield...
The closest thing in a depressed person's life is a knife and his/her throat.
What does a bicycle and Jade Goody have in common?
They can't reach 30.
Teacher: If you keep talking over me, I'll call your parents!
Orphan: You will?
My mom said don't fuck whores.
So I kicked my step sis out the house.
Did you hear about the magician who did magic with chocolate?
I heard he had loads of Twix up his sleeve.
What does a lesbian bring on the second date?
A U-Haul.
Yo mama so ugly!
The mime broke his 30 year streak of silence!!!!
Children in the dark make mistakes.
Mistakes in the dark make children.