Short jokes
Things to kids:
Dragapult: "Ooh, look! Some ammo."
A Good Parent: "My baby!"
Michael Jackson: (HeeHee)
I can explain Superman and Batman movies in one sentence.
Two orphans fighting in the rain.
Is it still stand-up comedy if the comedian doesn't have legs?
Friends: "You wanna hang with us?"
Me: "No, I wanna hang myself."
You learn from the best.
My heart says to stop because it hurts.
Bro, chill. It's really not that deep.
They made a horror movie about the Chinese president.
It's called "Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey."
Q: Do you know why transgender people are good at being carpenters?
A: Because they have more experience cutting off their wood.
Q: What is a lesbian's version of a cock block?
A: A beaver dam.
A depressed man buys a gun for suicide, but then thinks, "maybe I shouldn't be doing this," and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.
My girlfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke? Timing.
They say that the tongue is the strongest muscle in the human body. Wanna fight? 👅💦
The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
Are you a raisin? Because you’re raisin' my dick.
Do you have a shovel? Because I'm digging that ass.
Are you an archaeologist? Because I’ve got a bone for you to examine.
Why did Shakespeare only write using quills?
Pencils confused him: 2b or not 2b.
What do you call it when two transgender midgets have sex?
And microtransaction.
I don't understand why people get offended by incest jokes; they're so family friendly.
Why is it a bad idea to eat a clock? Because it's so time-consuming.