Short jokes
What do the mafia and pussies have in common?
One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.
What do kids and drugs have in common? I sell both of them.
What do you call a patronizing criminal walking down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
What is a retard's favorite race? The grand autismo.
Rust in peace.
What did music tell the pancakes? -- B flat.
There was an air crash of a Boeing 737-800 which can carry around 300 passengers.
It crashed in a cemetery.
They recovered 500 bodies.
what do you call a lazy gay?
someone who comes straight out of the closet, and goes straight to the couch.
Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms?
Because he told the man to put his hands up.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."
What do you call an Indian in a Lamborghini?
CURRY in a hurry.
Why do people keep on making jokes about the twin towers?
Because they go down so well.
Is it necrophilia if they die while you're having sex and you just don't realize?
That's what happened to my dog.
If Shaq had a boat, he would name it "Freethrow," because he would never sink it.
I love Muslims, they are great at parties!
They have the best fireworks.
What does an imouto ride?
Onii-san.
I bought a book for my blind friend.
Why does Michael Jackson wear a white glove?
So he won't bite his fingers when he eats a tootsie roll.
Why was the emo kid sad? Because his bar code expired.
You know if you go to Wal-Mart, and go to the milk section, you might just find your dads.