Short jokes
What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke? Timing.
They say that the tongue is the strongest muscle in the human body. Wanna fight? 👅💦
The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
Are you a raisin? Because you’re raisin' my dick.
Do you have a shovel? Because I'm digging that ass.
Are you an archaeologist? Because I’ve got a bone for you to examine.
Why did Shakespeare only write using quills?
Pencils confused him: 2b or not 2b.
What do you call it when two transgender midgets have sex?
And microtransaction.
Why is it a bad idea to eat a clock? Because it's so time-consuming.
What do Drake and math have in common? They’re both hard for kids.
Where do poor Italians live?
The spaghetto.
My wife said I have no sense of direction.
I said, "Where did that come from?"
What do alcoholics and necrophiliacs have in common?
They both like cracking open a cold one.
What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common?
No ballroom.
Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?
Why is the German blind?
Because he's a "not see."
Don't do suicide shit. Nearly killed me, tbh. 🙏🙏🙏🙏
Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
How does a cannibal start a wedding reception?
He toasts the groom.
I saw a fat dude wearing a shirt that said "guess." I said 215kg, he didn't find it as funny.