Short jokes
Who is the man behind all lives matter?
Michael Jackson.
I love eating pussy. Thatโs why the animal shelter is always my go-to for a good meal.
Stephen Hawking once stood up to bow down to Chuck Norris.
What is an epileptic's least favorite superhero? The Flash.
My wife cheated on me with my brother.
She didn't have a sister, so I improvised, and now all I have to do is wait nine months for one to come.
What's Joe Biden's favorite arcade game?
Space Invaders.
Why did Hitler turn to genocide after a failed career as an artist?
He never learned to mix the colors.
Michael Jackson so white, I turned blind.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite toy?
Hot Wheels.
Guys, this is so wrong. I'm an orphan and this extremely offends me. I'm telling my parents, um.......
How to respond if someone starts looking at the photos on your phone.
Step 1: Jab your thumbs into their eye sockets.
Do you get jealous of your clothes when they hang from the line?
Cheer up! Old age doesn't last that long!
They always say you are what you eat! So Iโd be nothing. That sounds about right.
What was found under MJ's pillow after he died?
Billy's jeans.
Q. What's an orphan's favorite South Park episode?
A. The anti-Family Guy episode.
My mom said don't fuck whores.
So I kicked my step sis out the house.
How many brain cells does a pregnant blonde have?
Two, one for her and one for the baby.
I realized that a really bad joke and my life are the exact same thing.
Did you hear about the magician who did magic with chocolate?
I heard he had loads of Twix up his sleeve.