Short jokes
I have a dog named Syndrome.
But it gets kinda awkward when he jumps on someone and I have to shout, "DOWN SYNDROME!"
They say that the tongue is the strongest muscle in the human body. Wanna fight? 👅💦
Do you have a shovel? Because I'm digging that ass.
Government Briefing:
Joe Biden had a meeting with the cabinet today...
...He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the desk.
Why was the snowman smiling?
Because he saw the snow blower coming down the street.
Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
Why is the German blind?
Because he's a "not see."
My wife said I have no sense of direction.
I said, "Where did that come from?"
The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
Are you a raisin? Because you’re raisin' my dick.
Are you an archaeologist? Because I’ve got a bone for you to examine.
Why did Shakespeare only write using quills?
Pencils confused him: 2b or not 2b.
Why is it a bad idea to eat a clock? Because it's so time-consuming.
A new drug has been developed for lesbians with depression.
It’s called Trycoxagain.
What do you call two gay Irishmen?
Patrick Fitz Gerald, and Gerald Fitz Patrick.
My grandma asked me if I could visit her.
I told her no, I don’t like graveyards.
Don't do suicide shit. Nearly killed me, tbh. 🙏🙏🙏🙏
What do you call it when a drunk cowgirl falls off her stool at the bar?
A hoedown.
Q: Do you know why transgender people are good at being carpenters?
A: Because they have more experience cutting off their wood.
I'd tell a necrophilia joke, but they've been done to death.