Short jokes
you play gatcha life more like go get a life.
Knock knock. Who's there? Parents. Parents who? That's what an orphan would say.
What do you call a black person eating chicken, watermelon, and drinking Kool-Aid?
Reality.
Q: Do you know why transgender people are good at being carpenters?
A: Because they have more experience cutting off their wood.
What's the same with shoes and slaves?
When they get loose, you tie them up.
My sister is pregnant, I'm gonna be a dad.
Yeah, you can call me daddy, son.
They made a horror movie about the Chinese president.
It's called "Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey."
What do you call a homeless Hitler?
A roofless dictator.
How does a cannibal start a wedding reception?
He toasts the groom.
Women treat me like a god.
They ignore me till they need something.
How to respond if someone starts looking at the photos on your phone.
Step 1: Jab your thumbs into their eye sockets.
Do you get jealous of your clothes when they hang from the line?
Cheer up! Old age doesn't last that long!
What do you call it when a drunk cowgirl falls off her stool at the bar?
A hoedown.
What do you call two gay Irishmen?
Patrick Fitz Gerald, and Gerald Fitz Patrick.
Where do poor Italians live?
The spaghetto.
What do alcoholics and necrophiliacs have in common?
They both like cracking open a cold one.
What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common?
No ballroom.
Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?
Cheap oil, no immigration, and no school shootings.
Corona did what Trump promised.