Short jokes
Why am I naughty?
Because I want to be....
One dog said to the other dog, "Man, it is hard sleeping on the floor."
The other said, "Really? I like my bed."
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
weixian
What's the difference between a noodle and a scaboodle fladooodle?
Him: I work with animals all day.
Her: Awwww what do you do?
Him: I'm a pornstar.
Do you think the founder of Dunlop was a retired tree surgeon or a hairdresser?
What's a tree's least favorite TV show? Chopped!
Friend: My girls are like boomerangs; they always come back.
Me: Mine DON'T :(
The person next to me on my flight was shocked when they found out I was Arabian. I lagged so hard my gerber almost fell out of my pocket.
Autists either believe everything you tell them or are nonstop skeptics. There is no in-between.
What were Paul Walker's last words?
Hey, that tree's growing!
Why is the divorce rate among socks so high?
An apple and an emo girl fall from the same height in a tree. Which one hits the ground first? The apple, cuz the noose stops her.
What did the fork say to the spoon?
Nothing, forks don’t speak, silly!
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Why did C.S.C. fail the trigonometry test?
Cosecant remember his own name.
Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Google is butt.
bröd
"History's repeating itself. WWIII is coming, and the second Russia nukes the U.S., they're all getting fucked."