Short jokes
If someone called you ugly, say before you call me ugly, look in a mirror.
Why did the clock eat so fast?
He wanted to go in for SECONDS! Super bad, huh?
Amelie is a meanie.
Bully: Agh, you're ugly!
Me: Said your mom when you were born.
What do you say to a foot that got beaten at everything?
De-feeted (Defeated)
How to write a joke?
On a scale of 8 to 10, how good do I look?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ur blue nue hue kuo.
What does "Keo" stand for?
Kick Elmo more.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Key.
Key who?
Key moo.
"Up your butt and around the corner!"
Your hairline!
Where do kittens go on a field trip?
The meowseum.
Why was 6 scared of 7?
Answer: Because 7 8 9.
"-Hey dude, you got some beef? You want some beef from me?"
"- No thanks... I'm vegetarian!"
What did the grape say to the banana? "Stop graping me!"
Mankind is made of 2 words: Mank and ind.
Why does Barry Bannan laugh when he plays football?
Because the grass tickles his balls because he's so short.
What happened to the terrorist who tried to blow up a bus?
He burnt himself on the exhaust pipe.
What does e equal?
I don’t know, a bunch of random numbers, but e=mc2.