Short jokes
What is an epileptic's least favorite superhero? The Flash.
Why did the feminist fail algebra?
She couldn’t solve inequalities.
My thighs have a different texture pack than the rest of me.
Things to kids:
Dragapult: "Ooh, look! Some ammo."
A Good Parent: "My baby!"
Michael Jackson: (HeeHee)
Is it still stand-up comedy if the comedian doesn't have legs?
I banged a German chick one time. I tried anal and asked her to rate the experience. She kept yelling "9! 9! 9!"
I called a Suicide Helpline, but they didn't help me commit suicide.
Tbh they really left me hanging there.
How did the man with no arms commit suicide?
We'll never know - he didn't leave a note.
I'm so depressed that when I smile, my Face ID doesn't recognize me.
What do you call Hitler speeding?
The Fast and the Fuherous.
I took an hour-long shower. The German officers were looking at me kinda scared.
My heart says to stop because it hurts.
Bro, chill. It's really not that deep.
There was a girl I used to date, only to find out that she used to be a man. You could say, she put me in a trans.
Q: What is a lesbian's version of a cock block?
A: A beaver dam.
John Lennon: "What a nice view."
John walked outside.
He got shot.
:skull:
My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."
Fortnite is just like high school. You get off the bus and start shooting everybody.
What is a prostitute's favorite form of traffic control?
Speed humps.
When you feel lonely, just watch a scary movie.
You won't feel lonely anymore :(
What is six inches, has nuts, and is hard?
A sinkers bar.