Short jokes
My mum told me to stop playing with my sister. She said, "At least wait for her to be born first."
Why don't you ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it.
I like my women how I like my wine.
14 years aged and locked in a cellar.
How do you verify a rape claim? You make it true, and then the person is a victim for sure.
What type of people think rape jokes are funny?
Only the coolest people in the world! I fucking love you guys 😂
Why are blind people so good at being a Jedi?
They are always swinging a stick.
So my mom sent a text saying, "I'm gonna need help carrying groceries when I get back." That was 3 months ago.
What do you call someone that illegally transports cups? - A s-mug-gler.
What happened to the fly on the toilet seat?
It got pissed off.
Why did Steven Hawking not go to heaven after he died?
He could not get up the stairs?
Why does the nucleus feel trapped?
Because it’s inside a cell!
What can you tell a dog, but not your girlfriend? Come.
Baptism, a chance for the priest to bathe you.
What is a retard's favorite race? The grand autismo.
Did you hear about the person who invented the door knocker?
He won a no-bell prize.
Why do Indians have a red dot on their head?
Because they're recording.
I brought my cousin to an arcade and I gave her $5 to go play a game, but she tugged my joystick too hard.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.
Pickup line; Hey mama, you school? Cuz I'd like to shoot some kids up in you.
I nailed my Jewish girlfriend so hard, she turned Christian.