Pickup line; Hey mama, you school? Cuz I'd like to shoot some kids up in you.
Short Jokes
Y'know that foundation called "Autism Speaks"? No, it screeches.
How do you rape a feminist? Tell her you are a woman and she will let you do whatever. You won't even need to force it.
Never attempt to foreshadow your own death, you may end up regretting it. You can chop me up and throw me in the fridge if I’m wrong.
What does a necrophiliac get at a wedding?
Mourning wood.
Why are fish easy to measure?
Because they bring their own scales.
On a scale of 1-10, how old was Michael Jackson’s last boyfriend?
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? - In case he got a hole in one.
What do turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
Why is America better than Japan at rapping?
Because we're better at dropping bombs.
A good dog name is Syndrome. That way when it tries attacking, you can yell, "Down, Syndrome!"
Nevermind, it's retarded.
My conversion therapy done worked. Now I only sleep with my sister and not my brother.
I nailed my Jewish girlfriend so hard, she turned Christian.
So we were working with a new client at work, and my boss farts. He said, "A little gas never killed anyone."
What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate.
How do you make rape funny? Tickle her while you do it.
What did the downs kid get on his math test??
Drool.
What is the difference between the rook and the bishop? The rook goes straight, while the bishop moves diagonally.
What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Stop and apply lubrication.
