Short jokes
There was a very lazy person. He saw a banana peel in front of him while he was walking... and he said: “Oh God, protect me from falling!”
Did you know some people don't put on masks because they wanna act like something? Some put masks on to show their depression and feeling.
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes, and everyone is trying to shit on ya.
What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?
Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!
I got written up on "Take Your Daughter To Work Day." Apparently, it only applies to daughters who are alive.
Why do orphans not play sport?
Because they need parents' permission.
Your mom is so dumb that somebody told her, "Go get a life," so she went to play Super Mario and got a 1-up.
Bully: Shut up, motherfucker!
Me: Well, stop talking to me and I won't have to keep fucking your mother.
I'm so depressed, I gave my therapist trauma.
This name makes me want to close season instead of open it.
Press F to pay respects to Grumpy Cat!
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
Which days are the strongest?
Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
When meeting her parents doesn't require you to leave the house.
Why do orphans like getting kidnapped? Because someone actually wants them. 🤣
What do you call an orphan selfie?
A family photo.
What did the orphan get for Christmas?
Lego figures from his friend, but they ran away too.
These jokes are EGGxactly why I became a comedian, and I know how to BAKE on breakfast.
2 jokes in a row babyyyyy!
You are so fat you were able to occupy Wall Street all by yourself.
What do / and \ have in common?
They have different results.