Short jokes
Who ever said "condom?" YES DADDY!
What did the feather say to his wife?
You light my day.
What do you describe Titanic as?
... Broken...
What’s the difference between video games and my dad?
My dad doesn’t beat me.
*School shooting happens* Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk* American student: "First time?"
Nah, they eat emo meals.
They asked JFK Jr. if he wanted to shower before his flight. He said, "No, I'll just wash up on shore!"
Why did the orphan drop the soap in prison? So he can have a prison daddy.
What do you call Indian dhal that is delicious?
Well, that is DHALicious!
Don't adopt people, or else your parents are gonna say you're ACTUALLY adopted, k thx. No jokes anymore, bye.
Why can’t orphans go on school trips?
Parent's signature: _________
[concert] SINGER: How's everyone doin' tonight? CROWD: Woo! ME (from the back in a normal speaking voice): It's actually been a tough few months.
The only difference between my grandma and the twin towers is that they collapsed faster than my grandma.
You are so fat that when you go out to check your letterbox, it measures 8 on the Richter scale.
What do you call a pool full of disabled people?
Vegetable soup.
What does a wife and a boombox have in common?
They only work when you beat them.
Chemistry joke: Why did the Superman being normal people when a krypton was at him?
Because krypton is "stable."
Why are Nepalese bad at chess?
Because someone already killed their king!
Why is Stephen Hawking so square headed? Because he forgot to shut Minecraft down!
Why does Blake like lakes? Because of cake!