Short jokes
Where did JFK go in his car? I am not sure of his intentional destination, but he did go everywhere.
Do you know what you first feel when you shoot someone?
The recoil.
My son asked me how I'm so clean, "inside out." I told him because of bleach. The next day, I found him drinking the bleach.
What do you get when King Kong steps on Batman and Robin?
Flatman and Ribbon.
What kind of exercise do lazy people do?
Diddly-squats.
What do you call a lesbian with braces? A box cutter.
When you feel lonely, just watch a scary movie.
You won't feel lonely anymore :(
The weirdest thing happened to me today. I was driving 50 mph and hit a speed bump and it screamed!
Congrats to George Floyd on 2 years sobriety.
I like my men like I like my whiskey: Irish and put in a barrel for 2 years with barely any oxygen.
There is this celebrity everybody thought was so down to earth. That was until he hung himself.
Why are Egyptian gods orphans?
Because Egypt needs to sell Anubis (a new bus) every year to make a prophet.
What's the difference between an escaped prisoner and an orphan?
Only one is wanted.
Dad: School is canceled, I think your teacher died or something.
Me: Wow, they found the body already?
Dad: :/
So the teacher goes up to you and says, "I'm going to call your parents." Me: "Good luck finding them."
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf....ftysrrtfgbjysou34w45pjr578v
He is looking for children. If you don't know who EDP445 is, look him up.
Be careful around EDP445.
When Kenney goes down on his mom, does he taste vegetable or fish?
Parents: "I'm taking your toys to the orphanage." Kid: "Why?" Parents: "So you don't get bored there."
If things don't get better, the Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging.