Short jokes
What do you call a black man on the moon?
An astronaut, you fucking racist.
Job Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in the next five years?
Me: I'd say my biggest weakness is listening.
My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.
Did you hear about the guy who got fired for having sex with his clients?
He was a great veterinarian.
Why can’t kids at an orphanage play hide and seek?
Because no one’s looking for them.
You should know how important it is to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.
A new drug has been developed for lesbians with depression.
It’s called Trycoxagain.
What do women and pools have in common?
They both cost a lot of money to maintain for the amount of time you’re inside of them.
What do you call an Irish lesbian? A gay lick.
A good woman is like a good cup of coffee, especially when it’s strong and hot with a little bit of cream in it.
What kind of bee makes milk?
Boo Bees
What's the best response to a girl saying, 'What's up?'
'If I tell you, will you sit on it?'
Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a big forehead, and your hairline recedes too.
I'm starting a new charity where homosexuals help the extremely handicapped.
I'm calling it "Fruits and Vegetables".
My grandma asked me if I could visit her.
I told her no, I don’t like graveyards.
what's another name for cumming inside of a woman?
loading the dishwasher.
Jake Paul
What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs?
A paintball.
I got them red Gucci bracelets.
First of all, if a woman sues Bill Cosby for drugging and rape 50 years ago, and she could still remember it, it couldn't have been all bad.