Short jokes
Job Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in the next five years?
Me: I'd say my biggest weakness is listening.
What's the best response to a girl saying, 'What's up?'
'If I tell you, will you sit on it?'
What do you call an Irish lesbian? A gay lick.
The CEO of IKEA was just elected Prime Minister in Sweden.
He should have his cabinet together by the end of the weekend.
When you push your grandma out of her wheelchair and steal it.
“They see me rollin’, they hatin’.”
I banged a German chick one time. I tried anal and asked her to rate the experience. She kept yelling "9! 9! 9!"
Rizz
Are you a basketball hoop? 'Cause I want to put my balls in you.
Are you a photo biographer? 'Cause I can picture us together.
Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a big forehead, and your hairline recedes too.
Why can’t kids at an orphanage play hide and seek?
Because no one’s looking for them.
What’s the difference between white people and Black people?
One runs from the police, one runs for the police.
I'm starting a new charity where homosexuals help the extremely handicapped.
I'm calling it "Fruits and Vegetables".
Why do Black people go to a confession stand at the Catholic Church?
They wanna know what it’s like to speak to a father.
Why did the chicken cross the road? cuz he saw a chic 😉
My math teacher keeps telling me to find his x. It's kinda creepy.
What is an epileptic's least favorite superhero? The Flash.
What kind of music do wind turbines like?
They are big, heavy metal fans!
Why was Michael Jackson so loved? He touched so many children in so many special ways.
I love eating pussy. That’s why the animal shelter is always my go-to for a good meal.
My thighs have a different texture pack than the rest of me.
I called a Suicide Helpline, but they didn't help me commit suicide.
Tbh they really left me hanging there.