Short jokes
Be careful what you say around Indians, the red dot means they're recording.
BTW, I am one, wahahaa!
Rizz
Are you a basketball hoop? 'Cause I want to put my balls in you.
Are you a photo biographer? 'Cause I can picture us together.
A depressed man buys a gun for suicide, but then thinks, "maybe I shouldn't be doing this," and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.
What kind of exercise do lazy people do?
Diddly-squats.
Why is a wet pavement like playing music?
If you don't C sharp, you'll B flat.
What does a lesbian bring on the second date?
A U-Haul.
Q: How are Clocks like Pedophiles? A: They both stop at 12.
How do you find out if your kid is gay?
Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.
What do you get when King Kong steps on Batman and Robin?
Flatman and Ribbon.
There is this celebrity everybody thought was so down to earth. That was until he hung himself.
I like my men like I like my whiskey: Irish and put in a barrel for 2 years with barely any oxygen.
Women treat me like a god.
They ignore me till they need something.
Me: Wanna hear a joke about my chin?
Friend: Nah, dude. It'll be too long.
What kind of music do wind turbines like?
They are big, heavy metal fans!
How are Xbox servers like hookers? First they take my money, and then they go down on me.
Why was Michael Jackson so loved? He touched so many children in so many special ways.
My math teacher keeps telling me to find his x. It's kinda creepy.
Why did the chicken cross the road? cuz he saw a chic 😉
I love eating pussy. That’s why the animal shelter is always my go-to for a good meal.
When you push your grandma out of her wheelchair and steal it.
“They see me rollin’, they hatin’.”