Short jokes
I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well, it was more of a wrap.
Did you hear the joke about the butter?
What is it?
I can’t tell you, you’ll spread it.
Why did the lemon 🍋 go to the doctor 👩⚕️?
Because he had a sour stomach.
What do you call a nosy pepper?
Jalapeno.
If Iron Man and Quicksilver teamed up,
They would be alloys.
I've been hit by several things in my life.
Sadly, never a car.
On September 11th, 2001, the New York Giants lost against the Jets.
What do women and pools have in common?
They both cost a lot of money to maintain for the amount of time you’re inside of them.
Why is the Z the only politically correct letter?
Because all the other letters are not Z's.
Why do Asians have squinty eyes?
Because atomic bombs are pretty damn bright.
Why can’t kids at an orphanage play hide and seek?
Because no one’s looking for them.
A woman can fake an orgasm for the sake of a relationship.
A man can fake a relationship for the sake of an orgasm.
A new drug has been developed for lesbians with depression.
It’s called Trycoxagain.
I'm starting a new charity where homosexuals help the extremely handicapped.
I'm calling it "Fruits and Vegetables".
A missile hit a hospital earlier this morning. Fortunately, no one was injured - but 100 were killed.
what's another name for cumming inside of a woman?
loading the dishwasher.
What kind of bee makes milk?
Boo Bees
Parents: "I'm taking your toys to the orphanage." Kid: "Why?" Parents: "So you don't get bored there."
Jake Paul
Violence against women is funny :)