Short jokes
What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs?
A paintball.
How did the computer get out of the house?
He used windows.
What do you call a gay barbecue?
LGTBBQ.
What's the difference between you and a fridge? The fridge doesn't moan when I put my meat in.
What's 9/11 survivors' least favorite NFL team?
New York Jets.
What do you call 4 Mexicans stuck in quick sand?
Quatro Sinco.
I got them red Gucci bracelets.
when Ted Bundy found out he was getting the death penalty, he was pretty shocked...
Fun fact! You can hold your breath till the rest of your life.
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store.
I said to him: "I don't think they have what you're looking for, sir."
My happiest moment in life was getting a positive grade on my H.I.V. test without studying.
Where do animal does Russian milk come from?
"Moscows".
For sale: Dead canary.
Not going cheep.
What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
Bone-appetit!
Why should you be wary of stairs? -- Because they are always up to something.
Little Johnny tried phone sex, but the holes were too small.
Why is America better than Japan at rapping?
Because we're better at dropping bombs.
What do turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
Nevermind, it's retarded.
Flat Earthers