Short jokes
A new game the whole family can play...
Incest.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a little fun.
Jack got mad and kicked Jill in the ass because she couldn't make him cum.
I keep looking for my girlfriend's killer, but no one wants to do it.
What's the difference between Princess Diana and Thomas the Tank Engine?
Thomas came out the other end of the tunnel.
You know what’s impossible?
Steven Walking.
What gets louder as it gets smaller?
A baby in a trash compactor.
I had a dream about the whole ocean being filled with orange soda.
Turns out it was a Fanta sea.
That awkward moment when you're checking yourself out in the window of a car and you realize there's somebody inside.
What's the hardest part when making skimmed milk?
Throwing the cow across the lake.
Q: How come in airports, they park the planes outside?
A: They don't belong in buildings.
Russia.
Having an abortion will make you so tired... it literally sucks the life out of you.
My boyfriend came over today and stole my milk. How dairy!
Don't worry, Stephen Hawking isn't dead.
They have just got to copy and paste his memory onto a USB.
What do you call two Mexicans in a sleeping bag?
A Twix.
My friends say they don’t like my skeleton puns.
I should put a little more backbone into them.
Jeffrey Dahmer was eating at 5 Guys before it was a restaurant.
How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? They handed her a basketball and told her to “read this book”.
Lol making jokes about cancer makes me feel better as a person that had cancer, it’s great!
When was the first Black Friday?
1619.