Short jokes
Why did the orphan commit suicide?
So he could find home.
When someone tells me to kill myself,
Panic! At The Disco: Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time.
What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
One of them you'll see in a while, and the other one you'll see later.
You meet the guy who invented 0, what do you tell him? Thanks for nothing!
What do you call an elf that sings? A Wrapper.
Wow! That whiteboard is remarkable!
What do you call a ghost's fart?
A spirit bomb.
An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.
He called them: "Asperger's."
- Mommy, what will I be when I'm grown up?
- Shut up, Sam, you've got cancer!
Jeffrey Dahmer was eating at 5 Guys before it was a restaurant.
Jesus created the T-pose first.
What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.
What is the difference between a plane and a helicopter?
A plane hits a building, but a helicopter hits the floor.
How do you stay warm in a cold room?
You go to the corners. It's always 90 degrees.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and Eminem? Eminem was never proven to beat his wife in court, but Johnny Depp was.
Your family tree looks like a circle 💀💀💀
Why don't midgets use tampons?
Answer: They are always tripping over the string.
What do you call a group of chubby trans-genders?
Trans-fats.
Are you a knife? Because damn, I want you inside of me ;)
I got a lot running through my head right now. I wish at least one was a 12-gauge round.