Short jokes
Why was the cow afraid?
He was a cow herd.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Stop.
Stop who?
Stop posting stupid orphan jokes that have been posted on this site 10 times before!
What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?
One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.
Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, it was pointless!
What does Sonic say when he doesn't want to get caught fucking in public?
Gotta Go Fast!
What medicine do you take when your butt hurts?
Answer: Assprin.
When someone tells me to kill myself,
Panic! At The Disco: Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time.
Why did the orphan commit suicide?
So he could find home.
Just got an iPhone 12 for my brother, best trade I've ever made.
[being buried alive]
Murderer: *out of breath* How are you eating the dirt so quickly?
Boss: You're fired.
Me: *turns in my gun and my badge*
Boss: You're a waiter. Where did you get those?
Why can’t dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
When I self-harmed one day, my mother told me that it cut her deep. We both found that very amusing.
This is not even a joke, it's a serious question... Is eating ass considered cannibalism?
What is the one kind of work orphans don’t know? Homework.
How do you get more presents from Santa? You tickle his sack.
What is Obi-Wan Kenobi's greatest enemy?
The low ground.
Wow! That whiteboard is remarkable!
What do you call an elf that sings? A Wrapper.
My sister's pregnant, I'm gonna be a dad!