Short jokes
How do you stay warm in a cold room?
You go to the corners. It's always 90 degrees.
What is the difference between a plane and a helicopter?
A plane hits a building, but a helicopter hits the floor.
What medicine do you take when your butt hurts?
Answer: Assprin.
Why can't a Muslim woman give head to an American cop?
She doesn't eat pigs.
Your family tree looks like a circle 💀💀💀
What do you call someone with a pindie spot?
Stop screen recording.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and Eminem? Eminem was never proven to beat his wife in court, but Johnny Depp was.
Teachers at a school shooting be like: damn it. That's the third one this week and it's only Monday.
What do you call a group of chubby trans-genders?
Trans-fats.
What is the tallest building?
A library 📚
It has the most stories.
One day, the teacher asks a boy, "Why can't fish talk underwater?"
The kid says, "If I put your head underwater, will you be able to talk?"
Are you a knife? Because damn, I want you inside of me ;)
I got a lot running through my head right now. I wish at least one was a 12-gauge round.
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?
Because he's dead.
My girlfriend's last words:
"I can’t wait to become a mom!"
I knocked on Stephen Hawking's door, but nobody answered...
All I got was "error 404 page not found."
What’s black, white, and red? A nun that fell down a 100 flight of stairs.
What’s black, white, and laughing? The nun that pushed her!
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
I have 5 fingers and the middle one is for you
The moment when she tells you: "I'm a virgin. Be gentle!" And you tell her, "Don't worry, I used to work with kids."