Short jokes
How do skeletons have sex?
They bone each other.
I saw a dwarf scaling down a prison wall. I thought to myself, "That's a little condescending."
What do you call a retard in a house fire?
Flame Retardant.
Two old people sitting on a bench. One turns to the other and says, "My butt fell asleep." The other says, "Yep, I heard it snore a couple of times."
Why does Hitler deserve heaven? Because he killed Hitler.
What does an evil hen lay?
Deviled eggs! 😈🥚
The bible says to love your neighbors as you love yourself.
So I treat everyone like garbage.
Why does Hitler drink milk? Because he doesn't like juice.
I'm not looking for consent, I'm looking for cooperation!
"I know that everyone is allowed to act stupid once in a while, but you’re really abusing that privilege."
Where do feminists go when they die? "Hell's Kitchen."
I gave a tree a high five, but sadly it left me hanging.
What would Batman do if he wasn't rich?
He would be robin.
Say no to drugs, kids. Suddenly, the poster disappeared. I hallucinated. Must have been the cocaine.
I threw a paralyzed kid into the fireplace and called him hotwheels.
DAD: I'm bringing your toys to the orphanage.
SON: Why?
DAD: You're going to need them.
what did the banana say to the banana?
"u look a-pealing"
What did the blind man fight in the bar?
The coat rack.
I heard a joke about heavy metal earlier. It was pretty ironic.
While undressing a woman, she told me she has AIDS. I told her she can't catch it twice, but she still kept screaming.