Short jokes
What is the tallest building?
A library 📚
It has the most stories.
One day, the teacher asks a boy, "Why can't fish talk underwater?"
The kid says, "If I put your head underwater, will you be able to talk?"
Are you a knife? Because damn, I want you inside of me ;)
I got a lot running through my head right now. I wish at least one was a 12-gauge round.
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?
Because he's dead.
My girlfriend's last words:
"I can’t wait to become a mom!"
What’s black, white, and red? A nun that fell down a 100 flight of stairs.
What’s black, white, and laughing? The nun that pushed her!
I knocked on Stephen Hawking's door, but nobody answered...
All I got was "error 404 page not found."
I wanted to see if she was anorexic, so I threw a Funyun at her to see if she'd use it as a hula hoop or inhale it.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
I have 5 fingers and the middle one is for you
The moment when she tells you: "I'm a virgin. Be gentle!" And you tell her, "Don't worry, I used to work with kids."
How did the necrophiliac get caught?
Some rotten cunt split on him....
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
A new game the whole family can play...
Incest.
I keep looking for my girlfriend's killer, but no one wants to do it.
What's the difference between Princess Diana and Thomas the Tank Engine?
Thomas came out the other end of the tunnel.
I had a dream about the whole ocean being filled with orange soda.
Turns out it was a Fanta sea.
That awkward moment when you're checking yourself out in the window of a car and you realize there's somebody inside.
What's the hardest part when making skimmed milk?
Throwing the cow across the lake.