Short jokes
What's the difference between a prostitute and a daredevil?
One has cunning stunts, whilst the other has a stunning...
Did you hear about the Mexican train hijacker?
They say he had locomotives.
I only believe in 12.5% of everything the Bible says.
Which makes me an eighth-theist.
What do you call it when a person with Down syndrome gets friendzoned?
Chromozoned.
Why was the cow afraid?
He was a cow herd.
- Mommy, what will I be when I'm grown up?
- Shut up, Sam, you've got cancer!
Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, it was pointless!
What does Sonic say when he doesn't want to get caught fucking in public?
Gotta Go Fast!
What medicine do you take when your butt hurts?
Answer: Assprin.
It has been rumored that Disney is developing a movie based on suicide. The title?
Finding Emo.
My sister's pregnant, I'm gonna be a dad!
[being buried alive]
Murderer: *out of breath* How are you eating the dirt so quickly?
Boss: You're fired.
Me: *turns in my gun and my badge*
Boss: You're a waiter. Where did you get those?
Wow! That whiteboard is remarkable!
What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
One of them you'll see in a while, and the other one you'll see later.
What do you call a ghost's fart?
A spirit bomb.
What is the one kind of work orphans don’t know? Homework.
How do you get more presents from Santa? You tickle his sack.
Just got an iPhone 12 for my brother, best trade I've ever made.
What do teen mothers and their unborn babies have in common?
They're both thinking "Oh my God, my mom's gonna kill me!"