Short jokes
What do you call it when a person with Down syndrome gets friendzoned?
Chromozoned.
I only believe in 12.5% of everything the Bible says.
Which makes me an eighth-theist.
Why was the cow afraid?
He was a cow herd.
What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?
One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.
What first went through Sally's mind when the Nazis came? - A bullet.
Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, it was pointless!
What does Sonic say when he doesn't want to get caught fucking in public?
Gotta Go Fast!
What medicine do you take when your butt hurts?
Answer: Assprin.
What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
One of them you'll see in a while, and the other one you'll see later.
Wow! That whiteboard is remarkable!
What do you call an elf that sings? A Wrapper.
What do you call a ghost's fart?
A spirit bomb.
It has been rumored that Disney is developing a movie based on suicide. The title?
Finding Emo.
My sister's pregnant, I'm gonna be a dad!
Why can’t dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
Just got an iPhone 12 for my brother, best trade I've ever made.
[being buried alive]
Murderer: *out of breath* How are you eating the dirt so quickly?
Boss: You're fired.
Me: *turns in my gun and my badge*
Boss: You're a waiter. Where did you get those?
When I self-harmed one day, my mother told me that it cut her deep. We both found that very amusing.
What is the one kind of work orphans don’t know? Homework.