Short jokes
One day, the teacher asks a boy, "Why can't fish talk underwater?"
The kid says, "If I put your head underwater, will you be able to talk?"
What is the tallest building?
A library 📚
It has the most stories.
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft, and I’ll show you A-flat minor.
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?
Because he's dead.
My girlfriend's last words:
"I can’t wait to become a mom!"
When was the first Black Friday?
1619.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a daredevil?
One has cunning stunts, whilst the other has a stunning...
What’s black, white, and red? A nun that fell down a 100 flight of stairs.
What’s black, white, and laughing? The nun that pushed her!
Why is rape worse than death?
Because dead people get way more attention.
I wanted to see if she was anorexic, so I threw a Funyun at her to see if she'd use it as a hula hoop or inhale it.
I knocked on Stephen Hawking's door, but nobody answered...
All I got was "error 404 page not found."
I have 5 fingers and the middle one is for you
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
How did the necrophiliac get caught?
Some rotten cunt split on him....
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
A new game the whole family can play...
Incest.
Hellen Keller walked into a bar... then a table... then a chair.
I keep looking for my girlfriend's killer, but no one wants to do it.
What's the difference between Princess Diana and Thomas the Tank Engine?
Thomas came out the other end of the tunnel.
I had a dream about the whole ocean being filled with orange soda.
Turns out it was a Fanta sea.