Short jokes
It has been rumored that Disney is developing a movie based on suicide. The title?
Finding Emo.
What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
One of them you'll see in a while, and the other one you'll see later.
What do you call a ghost's fart?
A spirit bomb.
- Mommy, what will I be when I'm grown up?
- Shut up, Sam, you've got cancer!
What do you call it when a person with Down syndrome gets friendzoned?
Chromozoned.
Jeffrey Dahmer was eating at 5 Guys before it was a restaurant.
Jesus created the T-pose first.
What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.
I had a dream about the whole ocean being filled with orange soda.
Turns out it was a Fanta sea.
I popped some fireworks and told my Vietnamese grandfather that World War 3 started.
How do you stay warm in a cold room?
You go to the corners. It's always 90 degrees.
What is the difference between a plane and a helicopter?
A plane hits a building, but a helicopter hits the floor.
Why don't midgets use tampons?
Answer: They are always tripping over the string.
Life would be so much easier if grass was emo.
Because it would cut itself.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and Eminem? Eminem was never proven to beat his wife in court, but Johnny Depp was.
Your family tree looks like a circle 💀💀💀
I got a lot running through my head right now. I wish at least one was a 12-gauge round.
Are you a knife? Because damn, I want you inside of me ;)
What is the tallest building?
A library 📚
It has the most stories.
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft, and I’ll show you A-flat minor.