Short jokes
What happened when Obama ran for president?
The whole US thought, "Holy hell, it's Osama bin Laden!" Thought he was dead.
Why did my dad leave me? Because I was a disappointment.
What's the best part about having sex with twenty-seven year olds?
There's twenty of them!
Why did Aaron's dad beat him? Because he tensed his ass.
I rolled over a log and underneath was a tiny little stick, and I was like, "That log had a child!"
Why are mountains very cold?
Because they are very cold.
What's black, anorexic, dumb, and will never get a girlfriend?
Me.
Hi, I am Michael Jackson, pronouns are HEE/HEE!
Who the f**k disliked my "yo mama" jokes? Comment now, b*tch!
penis balls cum <3
Want to know what Juice WRLD would do if he were alive today?
Frantically scratch on the inside of his coffin.
What do you call Cap and Spider-Man? Spider-America!
Why do white people carry Confederate flags?
To remind us that they are losers.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I have a small dick. Too bad for her, because I give good sex.
I impaled my son with a pitchfork...
He looks very sharp.
Why are Muslims terrible at football?
Because every time they have a corner, they build a shop.
Gun + Backpack = Fun!
Why couldn't the button get off the couch?
Because his butt weighed a ton! (butt-ton)
Why did God make the devils die?
God is great!
Why did Johnny cry?
He was molested by his sister. Johnny enjoyed it, though.