Short jokes
Why do mountains contain things? Because their moun-tains.
Your forehead is so big you can jump without getting hurt.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
What is a definition of tight?
A. Putting a blind man in a round room and saying, "Your dinner's in the corner."
Why did the bird lay an egg on Stephen Hawkings?
Because he is Stephen HAWKings.
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a bus.
Once, there was a Minecraft child molester on the Minecraft Facebook. He asks a kid his age. The kid blocks him.
What happens when you say, "Hey Siri?"
Stephen Hawking answers.
Question: What's brown and sitting on the piano bench?
Answer: Beethoven's last movement.
I was talking to my old friend. They said, "We should hang out more!"
I said, "You mean we should ketchup?"
SHAENAYA WANTS TO SUCK EVERYBOYS DICK BESIDES MINE CAUSE SHE A THIRSTY HOE.
Why does Ella have cancer?
Because she’s stupid.
My life...
Why is the homeless homeless?
Because it's homeless.
"Cancer isn't real. It's probably special effects."
Why do elephants paint their toes red, blue, green, orange, brown, and yellow?
So they can hide in a bag of M&Ms.
Dam, my balls itch like hell.
What flavor ice cream do rape victims enjoy?
Cock flavor.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and Rocket League? You can't stand up.
What do McDonalds and priests both do?
They both put their meat between 10-year-old buns.