Short jokes
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowgirl?
Snowballs.
Fucking Windows updates!
What happens when you see corn looking at you in your window?
A corn stalk!
What’s the difference between a teenage girl and a cat? One’s a psycho and the other is a cat.
I heard Microsoft got charged, why?
They couldn’t reboot Stephen Hawking.
I have eaten 6 babies, 9 adolescent children, and 2 infants in the past week ;p
What do you call Stephen Hawking when he eats too much?
As fat as Ben Dingley.
Why did he go to hell? Because he couldn't use the stairs to Heaven.
What is more time-consuming than children?
Waiting for your wife to go into labor!
My girlfriend called me a pedophile... That's a big word for a 1st grader.
Your friend took a shower and used Pantene, but I got a watermelon to keep me clean.
Hey girl, are you an orphan?
Oh, that’s right, I’m your daddy.
What do birds and autistic people have in common?
They both flap their arms.
Why do orphans like boomerangs?
Because they actually come back.
What did Jeff Dahmer say to the gays? Get over here and let me give you so much anal to where you die, DADDY! UWU!
Who is the new heterosexual Michael Joseph Jackson (pedophile)?
R. Kelly.
Yo mama's so stupid, she frickin' died at the Super Bowl!
Dogs say woof.
Cows say moo.
Idiots say, "The site will be less dead when school starts again!"
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers in the world?
Because they went through 90 stories in just 10 seconds!
Why was 10 so scared? Because he was in the middle of 9/11.