Short jokes
I love my family when they're buried alive.
I left my dog at home once, and when I came home it was a mess. Let's just say I was in a RUFF situation.
The president of the USA is so damn stupid. His mother must have taken Tylenol while she was pregnant with him, or something.
How do you surprise a 50-year-old man? By putting a 12-inch dick through his ass.
He said, "Best surprise ever!"
Orphans' calendar consists of 362 days. Why?
Because they don't got homecoming, Father's Day, and Mother's Day.
These jokes suck. Lmfao y'all gotta be more creative!
"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"John."
"John who?"
John broke down into tears as his Mother's Alzheimer's had gotten progressively worse.
What do you call two Michael J. Fox's standing next to each other?
Parallel Parkinson's.
Stop making jokes about Kobe.
What do you call a retarded Catholic?
Asperges.
I help suicidal people.
BTW verb not adjective.
Owo
Me and my cousin went to a restaurant yesterday.
I ordered my chicken fried, he ordered his chicken alive.
What do you call a girl with no legs? Sarah.
What do you call an Olympic gold medalist skiing? Not Sarah.
Why did the man walk into a bar?
Because he just broke up and he needs alcohol, you dummy!
I've done a ton of work today.
A SKELE-ton of work!
I wanted some breakfast, so I grabbed some Life cereal.
I poured it, but lemons came out. So I said, "Well, when life gives you lemons!"
What do you call a fat midget?
A pig.
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
I take off my boots when I jump on a trampoline.
Damn, this computer stopped working. It's got autism.