Short jokes
Me playing a game...
What did God just stop? Are hearts cause we didn't kill each other.
Like if that was good.
She was only a potato chip manufacturer's daughter--but she was Frito-Lay!
Someone asked me, "How would you like your steak cooked?"
I said, "On a stove!"
Why did Brandon harass Sydney because she didn't want to eat his foreskin?
I did a ton of work today, a skele-ton.
There are more than 2 genders.
What do you call a lazy potato chip? Lays!
How do you make a cat sound like a dog?
You set it on fire; then it goes, "WOOF!"
Yes, Stephen Hawking is alive.
YEET!
Two mums hook up!
Their daughter comes in the room and says, "Which one's the baby daddy?"
The "mum" points to the woman who was actually a man!
Q. Why can't Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
A. He can't get his wheelchair up the stairs.
What's the difference between a spare tire and dead hookers? I don't have 8 spare tires in my trunk.
Why can’t moons walk?
'Cuz they have no legs, stupid!
Asian without "As" is just sin.
Three people having sex is a threesome; two people is a twosome. So next time someone calls you "handsome," don't take it as a compliment.
My girlfriend broke up with me today, but it’s ok.
She said we can still be cousins.
What's the difference between my imaginary friend and God?
None.
They're both imaginary.
Fun fact! If you steal your sister's cat, she will be mad.
Toilet paper cried across the road.
What do you get when you cross a Cuban and corrupt dictator, Fidel Castro?