Short jokes
Why does the sun get a lot of girls? Because it's hot.
Two pencils walking down the street.
Which one hasn’t got AIDS?
The one with the rubber on.
Balalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala!
What's 12 inches long and begins with a p?
A shit.
What is God's favorite planet?
Saturn because it has a ring around it.
What does the Peanut Butter Baby say?
"Ah!"
Why did the teddy bear decide not to eat the turkey?
Because he was too stuffed.
A farmer has 3 fat ugly cows. One is named Xia. The next is named Chiang. What's the third?
Yu.
Zozo laughed at his wife for her husband being a hobo.
What does your mum have in common with your dad?
They are both men.
What is the difference between a human being in the car?
What’s long, yellow, and doesn’t float?
A school bus filled with children.
What did a comedian say at a show full of blind people?
"What's up?"
Take it in the ear day? More like take it in the rear day.
What do an acting role and playing sports have in common?
If you break a leg, you get cast.
If you have 20 apples and you ate 2, how many do you have left?
0 because you have 20 and take away 2, you have 0 left.
His wife shut off the internet.
God better hope they got an elevator to Heaven.
Stupid joke about Stephen Hawking that wasn't funny the first fucking time.
Hmmm.