Short jokes
What's the hardest part when making skimmed milk?
Throwing the cow across the lake.
Q: How come in airports, they park the planes outside?
A: They don't belong in buildings.
Having an abortion will make you so tired... it literally sucks the life out of you.
My boyfriend came over today and stole my milk. How dairy!
What do you call it when a person with Down syndrome gets friendzoned?
Chromozoned.
Don't worry, Stephen Hawking isn't dead.
They have just got to copy and paste his memory onto a USB.
What do you call two Mexicans in a sleeping bag?
A Twix.
My friends say they don’t like my skeleton puns.
I should put a little more backbone into them.
Friend: How dark is your humor?
Me: It gets beat by the cops on a daily basis.
How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? They handed her a basketball and told her to “read this book”.
How does Hellen Keller drive?
With one hand on the wheel and the other on the road.
Lol making jokes about cancer makes me feel better as a person that had cancer, it’s great!
When your mom tries to hit you with the belt but misses and hits herself... #victoryroyale
What's the difference between a paycheck and your penis?
You don't have to beg your wife to blow up the paycheck.
What did Earth say to the other planets?
"You guys have no life!"
What would MLK Junior be if he was white?.........Alive.
I saw my sister masturbating with a carrot. I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like carrots!"
I popped some fireworks and told my Vietnamese grandfather that World War 3 started.
Why don't skeletons fight each other?
They don't have the guts.
Guys, don’t let nobody hurt you with words.
Like someone once said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”