Short jokes
What do teen mothers and their unborn babies have in common?
They're both thinking "Oh my God, my mom's gonna kill me!"
When I self-harmed one day, my mother told me that it cut her deep. We both found that very amusing.
Why did the orphan commit suicide?
So he could find home.
What is Obi-Wan Kenobi's greatest enemy?
The low ground.
When someone tells me to kill myself,
Panic! At The Disco: Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time.
What do you call an elf that sings? A Wrapper.
Why can’t dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
Jeffrey Dahmer was eating at 5 Guys before it was a restaurant.
Having an abortion will make you so tired... it literally sucks the life out of you.
Jesus created the T-pose first.
What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.
I had a dream about the whole ocean being filled with orange soda.
Turns out it was a Fanta sea.
How do you stay warm in a cold room?
You go to the corners. It's always 90 degrees.
I popped some fireworks and told my Vietnamese grandfather that World War 3 started.
What is the difference between a plane and a helicopter?
A plane hits a building, but a helicopter hits the floor.
What is the tallest building?
A library 📚
It has the most stories.
Your family tree looks like a circle 💀💀💀
Why don't midgets use tampons?
Answer: They are always tripping over the string.
One day, the teacher asks a boy, "Why can't fish talk underwater?"
The kid says, "If I put your head underwater, will you be able to talk?"
Are you a knife? Because damn, I want you inside of me ;)