Short jokes
What is the difference between an Isis training camp and a school?
Not sure, I just fly the drone.
Go up to someone and say, "I'm sorry for your loss," and see what they do.
What do you call a baby in an elevator?
Lubrication.
Like this,
it will give you good luck. See for yourself!
It squirted in my eye, God dammit!
These 9/11 jokes just don’t land.
The dear God created the man.
Then he created woman.
When he then saw what he had done, he took care of tobacco and alcohol.
Why is the ocean blue?
A: Because the fish go, "blu-blu."
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out, I'm just a burden.
I call my penis the truth because the truth always comes out of children’s mouths.
Villager: KNOCK KNOCK
Steve: Who's there?
Villager: I'm not talking anymore.
Steve: I'm not talking anymore who?
What's the difference between cars and grass?
They both have wheels, except for the grass.
What do you call a Krispy Kreme Donut combined with a Big Mac from McDonalds?
A Krispy Kreme Mac.
I've got an impressive record at Russian roulette. Retired after one loss ever.
My parents told me that when they had sex, it was absolutely shambles.
Thankfully, it turned out that they were real balls.
Your hairline recedes so far back that it defends your forehead.
What does a ripped jacket and a golfer have in common?
They both have a hole in one.
Obama got Osama.
Hey, what’s your favorite type of tomato? Mine is sun-dried tomato.
Get it? "Sun-dried" like "son died."
Never tell an orphan about a family matter; they wouldn't understand.