Short jokes
How does Hellen Keller drive?
With one hand on the wheel and the other on the road.
I went to a park, then I kicked a ball at a kid in a wheelchair, then screamed "Rocket League!"
Lol making jokes about cancer makes me feel better as a person that had cancer, it’s great!
When was the first Black Friday?
1619.
What would MLK Junior be if he was white?.........Alive.
What did Earth say to the other planets?
"You guys have no life!"
What's the difference between a paycheck and your penis?
You don't have to beg your wife to blow up the paycheck.
I wanted to see if she was anorexic, so I threw a Funyun at her to see if she'd use it as a hula hoop or inhale it.
I saw my sister masturbating with a carrot. I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like carrots!"
Why don't skeletons fight each other?
They don't have the guts.
I popped some fireworks and told my Vietnamese grandfather that World War 3 started.
What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
Did you hear about the lesbian midget? She probably came out of the cabinet.
Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships?
So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.
You know what I saw today?
Everything I looked at.
Guys, don’t let nobody hurt you with words.
Like someone once said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”
Suicide is just self-defense. You're killing the person that tried to kill you.
[Them]: "Don't you think you'll feel ashamed of all the suicide jokes you've made when you get older?"
[Me]: "When I what?" 0-0
What has an N, an I, two Gs, an E, and an R?
Ginger!
Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?
A: Either way they'll kill your dog.