I groomed 2 minors today.
Short Jokes
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?
An RCXD (remote control explosive).
My girlfriend said onions were the only foods that make you cry.
Until I threw a watermelon in her face.
Why can orphans never be kidnapped?
No one can tell them that "your parents said that they would be delayed and I was told to pick you up."
Kid: What is the biggest mistake you made in your life?
Parents: Go look above the bathroom sink.
Kid goes and looks, but then he realizes.
I asked my mom where babies come from. She said I came from the adoption center.
Define abnormal life.
Waking up every day living a sane life!
My friend asked me why I know how to tie a noose.
I told them, "because I’m such a noose-ance."
What do you say before you jump off a building?
Parkour!
One day I told my wife that she drew her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised.
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
I’m not into watching sunsets, but I’d love to see you go down.
What do depressed people use for emotions online?
They use EMOjis.
With numerous reports of Donald Trump's odor and Kelly Clarkson's lack of hygienic habits... proof that money doesn't buy cleanliness.
I only cut to find out if I'm real or cake.
I'm shocked that Kanye West never tried to get Carrie Underwood's number after Carrie starred in a pro-Aryan ad for Almay.
Carrie Underwood and ChatGPT are not the same. ChatGPT is able to create a soul.
My brother is ugly. One time he stuck his head out the window. The police arrested for mooning.
What do sex and food have in common?
My sister makes it better than my cousin.
I tried to warn my son about playing Russian roulette. It went in one ear and out the other.
