Short jokes
What's the hardest part when making skimmed milk?
Throwing the cow across the lake.
Q: How come in airports, they park the planes outside?
A: They don't belong in buildings.
Having an abortion will make you so tired... it literally sucks the life out of you.
My boyfriend came over today and stole my milk. How dairy!
What do you call it when a person with Down syndrome gets friendzoned?
Chromozoned.
Don't worry, Stephen Hawking isn't dead.
They have just got to copy and paste his memory onto a USB.
What do you call two Mexicans in a sleeping bag?
A Twix.
My friends say they don’t like my skeleton puns.
I should put a little more backbone into them.
Why is rape worse than death?
Because dead people get way more attention.
How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? They handed her a basketball and told her to “read this book”.
Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
How does Hellen Keller drive?
With one hand on the wheel and the other on the road.
Lol making jokes about cancer makes me feel better as a person that had cancer, it’s great!
When was the first Black Friday?
1619.
When your mom tries to hit you with the belt but misses and hits herself... #victoryroyale
What would MLK Junior be if he was white?.........Alive.
What did Earth say to the other planets?
"You guys have no life!"
What's the difference between a paycheck and your penis?
You don't have to beg your wife to blow up the paycheck.
I saw my sister masturbating with a carrot. I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like carrots!"
Why don't skeletons fight each other?
They don't have the guts.