Short jokes
Why are orphans good at dodge ball?
No one misses them.
I asked my French mate if he had a games console. He said, "Oui!"
At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.
You're so clapped that you make Susan Boyle attractive.
What's white but not black, and red all over?
J. K. Rowling after attending the world premiere of the next Matrix movie.
A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.
Your mom is so hairy that King Kong got jealous of her.
Why do most orphans cook for themselves?
They don't have a home cook.
What's the difference between me and a corpse? I mean, I'm not dead... yet, right?
What do you get when you cross a cow with a cat?
A: Cowacat
B: Mooore
C: Cowacatfood
She got on the scale, said "to be continued."
"Joe Mama so fat she plays pool table the Earth."
"Hey, what does IDK mean?"
"I don't know."
"Okay, then I am going to ask someone else."
Your hairline is so big, it's bigger than the universe!
What did the gay necrophiliac say when his relationship ended?
"That rotten asshole split on me again!"
Your mum is so stupid, when she went on your phone it got fat.
He is so fast that he broke the internet for the whole world when he ran.
Why are Mexicans good at Uno?
They always steal the green card.
Life is never hard until you get hit hard with reality.
Your hairline's so far back, I use it as a ruler to measure things.