Short jokes
I'm Pastor Moe Mister, Moe Lester.
What do you call a sad rabbit? Unhoppy.
Why isn't there a sad sunglasses emoji? To show that I am happy but I'm still cool.
Waitress: What can I get for you?
Me: I'll have a steak.
Waitress: How would you like it?
Me: Immediately!
Is it a bird? Is it a plane?
I don't know, but it's coming for the towers.
Why did the sped kid get expelled?
Because he was tardy.
2001 called... they hit the Pentagon.
My girlfriend asked me to hand her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
When you have erectile dysfunction, it could be expressed as the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
If you got a bowling ball and you stuck it on top of a sack of potatoes, what would you get?
A "retiree."
You can tell if a woman is angry if she is holding a gun.
If I wanted to hear beeping, I wouldn’t have pulled my grandma’s cord to live.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he can't find home.
Why did the Titanic sink?
Because the people aboard are stupid.
Knock knock. Who's there? Well, I will tell you who's not there: my dad.
The only thing colder than Siberia is my girlfriend's ex!
Your mama so fat that when Thanos snapped his finger, it only got rid of weight.
I braced myself when I got in the car, but then I realized my wife wasn't driving.
What does a nun say when you ask too many questions?
"Nunya business!"
Last week I went on a whale watch.
After everyone had piled onto a boat, they loaded the boat onto a trailer and drove to your house.
My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.
It was really heavy on me.