I am sooooooo bored, Gwen, can you please get on, or anybody, since I'm weirdly obsessed with Gwen.
Short Jokes
Your forehead is so fucking big, I had to call an Uber to get across the eyebrows to your hairline.
I know it's bad, sorry.
You're so white that when I turn off the lights, you're a night light.
So my friend died. I was at her casket. I said I'll see you on the other side, so I went to the other side of the casket.
When she says "parents aren't home" so you rush upstairs.
Your mama is so stupid, she made an appointment with Dr. Pepper.
The average Irish person consumes 131.1 litres of beer, almost as much as your mum at night.
I had a calf for a while. The milk was bad until we bought a heifer.
I went to my girlfriend's house one day in Alabama when I met her brother. He said, "Well, I guess there's no more you stuck in the dryer."
My best opinion: when life goes to hell, you just go down with it.
went (DYM 134).
I made an advent calendar for a Jehovah’s Witness.
Behind every door someone tells you to fuck off.
What is the difference between Hilary Duff and a computer? You only have to punch information into a computer once.
Why can't orphans go outside?
Because their parents aren't there to watch them!
Everyone makes mistakes. Just ask your parents.
Grass for lash.
I woke up today, and my mom said it was 1940.
Leo be like: "I like men, yes."
RTG iceberg?
What is the difference between cunnilingus and a confused Parisian tourist?
One lapses into French, the other Frenches into laps.
