Short jokes

Short jokes

Wine

You’re like a fine wine. The more of you I drink in, the better I feel.

Cat

I couldn't find my cat, and then my pillow started meowing.

Life

What can you say about that homeless man's life and current status?

Wasted.

Plane

What can you say about planes that you can say about stocks?

They both be flying??

Gay

Rodd Flanders: What's "gay" mean?

Bart: Uh, it means you used to be afraid, but now you're not.

Rodd says to his dad Ned: I'm gay, Daddy.

Deaf

You know I would make a deaf joke, but I don't think they would hear it.

Arson

A kid decided to burn his house down.

His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."

Fan

Why can't a Leicester fan pull girls? He can only do the fox trot.

Girlfriend

I said to my girlfriend nothing can ever make you look ugly...

Because you already look ugly.

God

What did God say when he created the first black person?

"Behold, this specimen of divine integrity!"