Short jokes
Two kids were beating up a kid in an alley, so I stepped in to help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
I'm in school lol.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Maserati.
Maserati who?
Why don't you clean up this Maserati?
What happens when the Twin Towers breathe? They collapse like an orphan with stage 4 cystic fibrosis who lives in the streets of Africa.
Why did the duck walk across the road? I lost my pecker!
What did the rapper say when he broke his mic?
"Looks like I dropped the mic... literally!"
Your hairline is so far back, scientists consider it a ninth planet.
I thought Gastown was in Vancouver, not in Wilkie, Saskatchewan.
I can tell you a pun about a pencil, oh! Never mind, it’s pointless.
Roses are red, Violets are ugly.
Violet thought she was ugly until she saw you!
What is this joke?
What do you call Anne born in May? A Maybe.
said (DYM 107)
When a man sleeps with a lot of women, he's called a stud. When a woman sleeps with a lot of men, she's called your mum.
Why did the rapper bring a telescope to the studio?
To see his FUTURE in the STARS.
Your hairline goes so far back that even Gavin, who looks like a monkey, can't see it!
Mom, why was I adopted?
Because people are terrible, and that’s how the world works, son!
Ok, Dad, the world is TERRIBLE!
Well, you know what they say, time flies when you're just a ball of anxiety and stress. :D
You’ll parsley believe how many puns I have. Hopefully your funny-bone isn’t broken because these are real rib-ticklers.
If you're American outside the restroom, what are you in the restroom?
European.
What are you on your way to the bathroom?
Russian.
What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire? Hot Wheels.