What do you call a vegan slut.....?
A garden Ho...!
For Sale: Parachute. Used once, never opened, small stain.
If you're going to be a smart ass, you have to be smart, or you're just an ass.
If at first it don't succeed try, try again.
F is for friends who don't talk to you. U is for Ur alone. N is for never having any plans at all, all you do is sit at home.
Why did Mexicans go to Area 51?
To show them what a real illegal alien looks like.
there was always that one SPECIFIC person u THOUGHT ruined ur life,but it turns out ur life has always been ruined by u being in it..
What do you call an afgan in the bath.A bath bomb
Why did the boy 👦 throw the clock 🕒 out the window?
He wanted to see time fly.
A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So she gets a divorce.
Why don't phones wear glasses? Because they have contacts!
What was the one word that could of save Princess Dianas life? Taxi
Q: How do you know a wishing well works? A: If your mother-in-law falls down it
did you hear about the light bulb party--- yeah it was pretty lit!
Why is a white guy in prison scarier than a black guy in prison.
The white guy actually did it.
How many gay guys can u fit on a bar stool? Four just flip it over.
Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? - Because she heard the drinks were on the house.
What do KFC and pussy have in common? Both are finger lickin' good and after you are done eating you have a box to put the bone in.
There was a kid crying. I asked him where his perants were. He cried more. Orphanages are really fun to work at.
Rizz
Are you a basketball hoop? 'Cause I want to put my balls in you. Are you a photo biographer? 'Cause I can picture us together.
