Short jokes
Who goes to a comedian show and gets offended?
A feminist.
What did Freddie Mercury use to improve his hearing?
Hearing AIDS.
What do you call a Communist sniper? -- A Marxman.
A girl asked me to eat her out one time... so I put her in the oven.
Boy and girl playing hide and seek... girl: "I found you." Boy: "What gave me away?" Girl: "Ur parents obviously."
Raaj went up to his mom and said, "I bet you 10 dollars I can disappear." Then he turned off the lights.
The number 13? Not on my watch!
What is red and looks like a zebra?
My arm. Hehhehehehe UwU
I thought my wife was joking when she said she was gonna leave me because I wouldn’t stop singing “I'm a believer,” but then I saw her face.
Necrophilia in Alabama is fun for the whole family, even grandma.
What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you've told her twice.
What do you call a pessimistic Mexican?
A Mexican't.
I ate a time machine once, it was very time-consuming. Especially when I went back four seconds.
Osama's aim was horrible. One of his angry birds missed and hit a field in Pennsylvania.
Imagine failing to commit suicide; you might as well go kill yourself.
What was the favorite game in 2001? Flight simulator.
What game did Al-Qaeda play with the Twin Towers on September 11th, 2001? Jenga.
A lot of people ask why I only make jokes about Paul Walker and no one else.
Because they didn’t have as big of an impact as him.
Q: What's stronger than family?
A: Whatever tree Paul Walker hit.
The dick said to the ass, "this place is a shit hole."
The ass replied, "Yes, but you still keep coming."