Short jokes
Why wouldn’t Mr. Bee 🐝 push Ms. Bee 🐝 away?
Because he loves his honey.
I ate a time machine once, it was very time-consuming. Especially when I went back four seconds.
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone. Wing-wing Halo?
What did the kid with leukemia watch last night? Finding Chemo.
What are the three worst words to hear while you are having sex?
Honey, I'm home!
Grammar: It's the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.
What is the similarity between a joke and food?
Some people just don't get them!
Do your buses run on time?
No, they run on diesel.
Why do people want emo grass? Because it'll cut itself.
What do you call a terrorist in a kids' swimming pool?
A bath bomb.
Why did Sally fall out of the swing?
She had no arms.
Why couldn’t she get up?
Because she had no friends.
What do you call a sex offender attending church? A priest.
Yo mama's so stupid she got locked in Mattress World and slept on the floor.
I decided to visit Saudi Arabia with my girlfriend.
She and I learned they celebrate Pride month by throwing stones.
KFC proudly presents the kid fryer meal where our fillets are made out of kids. 😎 1 like = more kids in our fryer.
How is sex like air? It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.
Why are gay people so bad at math? Because they can't multiply.
My Grandmother died last month. The thing that bugs me to this day, I couldn't understand her last words... through the pillow.
Friends call me crack miser, whatever I snort. My brain starts to distort! I'll be in court.
I love you like my cuts.
Deeply.