Short jokes
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on juan.
What do you call a pessimistic Mexican?
A Mexican't.
What planet did Hitler hate the most?
Jewpiter.
Osama's aim was horrible. One of his angry birds missed and hit a field in Pennsylvania.
What was the favorite game in 2001? Flight simulator.
A lot of people ask why I only make jokes about Paul Walker and no one else.
Because they didn’t have as big of an impact as him.
Q: What's stronger than family?
A: Whatever tree Paul Walker hit.
What game did Al-Qaeda play with the Twin Towers on September 11th, 2001? Jenga.
Why wouldn’t Mr. Bee 🐝 push Ms. Bee 🐝 away?
Because he loves his honey.
Imagine failing to commit suicide; you might as well go kill yourself.
The dick said to the ass, "this place is a shit hole."
The ass replied, "Yes, but you still keep coming."
I was going to log a pun about trees, but you wooden understand it.
Me telling a depression and suicide joke in front of my friends.
My friends: ........ Oh wait, I don't have any, so nothing to worry about here.
I ate a time machine once, it was very time-consuming. Especially when I went back four seconds.
My dad posted a picture of his condom challenge fail to his social media - it was a picture of me.
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone. Wing-wing Halo?
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
Grammar: It's the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.
What is the similarity between a joke and food?
Some people just don't get them!
Do your buses run on time?
No, they run on diesel.