Short jokes
"Waiter, my steak is too skinny."
"It's a strip steak, sir."
"At these prices, it should not only strip, but sing and dance too!"
I'm just here to say that I don't approve of political jokes.
I've seen too many of them get elected.
Me telling a depression and suicide joke in front of my friends.
My friends: ........ Oh wait, I don't have any, so nothing to worry about here.
I was going to log a pun about trees, but you wooden understand it.
My dad posted a picture of his condom challenge fail to his social media - it was a picture of me.
Why wouldn’t Mr. Bee 🐝 push Ms. Bee 🐝 away?
Because he loves his honey.
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone. Wing-wing Halo?
What did the kid with leukemia watch last night? Finding Chemo.
Grammar: It's the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.
What is the similarity between a joke and food?
Some people just don't get them!
Do your buses run on time?
No, they run on diesel.
Trump is going too far.
He deported a printer because it didn't have papers.
Why do people want emo grass? Because it'll cut itself.
What do you call a terrorist in a kids' swimming pool?
A bath bomb.
Why did Sally fall out of the swing?
She had no arms.
Why couldn’t she get up?
Because she had no friends.
What do you call a sex offender attending church? A priest.
Yo mama's so stupid she got locked in Mattress World and slept on the floor.
KFC proudly presents the kid fryer meal where our fillets are made out of kids. 😎 1 like = more kids in our fryer.
I decided to visit Saudi Arabia with my girlfriend.
She and I learned they celebrate Pride month by throwing stones.
What’s black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.