Why do orphans hate milk? Cause their family is still shopping for it!
Short Jokes
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson?
Cause it's a family company.
What does an Al Qaeda terrorist and a flexible man have in common?
They can blow themselves up.
Your mom's so fat that One Punch Man had to take two punches.
When the speedbump in a school zone screams, so you go faster.
Why doesn’t Pakistan have any football teams?
Every corner they get, they open a shop on it!
What did me and my uncle call hide and seek? Naked and afraid.
Quiet kid: "I'm home!"
Parents: "What did you learn at school today?"
Quiet kid: "I've learned that I've had enough!"
I was thinking about you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.
My dad died the other day, but I was able to hear his last words: "Son, are you still holding the ladder?"
Whenever my grandparents apologize, I say "forgive and forget". They are really obedient.
On the lines of "I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous,"
I'm dying to live forever!
Looks like I lost an electron, I should keep a better ion them.
What do you call a sophisticated American?
A Canadian.
What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? The hockey player showers after 3 periods.
How does a prostitute make more than a drug dealer?
Because she can clean her crack and sell it again.
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? -- One. They are efficient and don't have humor.
The dick said to the ass, "this place is a shit hole."
The ass replied, "Yes, but you still keep coming."
You know what they say about dark humor: it hits harder than a drunk parent.
Osama's aim was horrible. One of his angry birds missed and hit a field in Pennsylvania.
