Short jokes
Kid: Hey, what’s black and sneaky!
Social studies teacher: Harriet Tubman.
How do you get a fat girl to bed? Piece of cake.
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.
What do you call an Asian prostitute?
Suck Mi Dong.
What’s the difference between a doctor and a pedophile?
The doctor doesn’t enjoy giving physicals.
I shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.
Q: Why did frosty pull down his pants?
A: He heard the snowblower coming.
Did you know the people in the twin towers were great readers?
Yeah, they went through 80 stories in seconds.
We shouldn't joke about rape, because rape is no laughing matter...
Unless you're being raped by a clown.
Apparently, describing the beautiful city of Hiroshima as "The bomb" is not okay.
What do computers and white kids have in common? They don't have trouble shooting.
Your hairline is so bad that it makes Lebron's hairline look normal.
What do planets like to read? Comet books!
How do you cut the sea in half?
With a sea-saw.
If I place a slide on the edge of a cliff or a really high building, would going down it be considered "suislide"?
Asking for a friend.
Why is a moon rock tastier than an Earth rock?
Because it’s a little meteor.
A mom gave her son "the talk". Her son replies, "Wait, so there really isn't candy involved? Guess Grandpa lied."
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson?
Cause it's a family company.
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A Doberman in a playground.
You know what me and my spine both have in common? We are both not straight.