If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
I named my dog 5 miles so when I walk him I can say I walked 5 miles random guy: I ran over 5 miles
Why did Steven Hawking not go to heaven after he died?
He could not get up the stairs?
What's an emo person's least favorite game??? Cut The Rope.
What do you call a blind German A not see
What's kobe favorite song. It's going down for real
What did the cake say to the fork?
Do you want a piece of me!!!
I brought my cousin to an arcade and I gave her 5$ to go play a game but she tugged my joy stick to hard
So I went to my friends funeral today, As we were all leaving a kid put a get well soon card next to my friends grave ‘poor kid’
What's the difference between my phone and my sister? I actually give a damn if my phone dies.
Why can't dinosaurs clap? Because they're dead.
What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate
Why did Adolf Hitler like nuts? He only had one.
how did stephen hawking die?
they unplugged the wifi
What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo!
Hey God what are you making?
Just a wooden stick that lights on fire
sounds like a match made in heaven
What has more letters than the alphabet? -- The post office.
At baseball practice... Hey John did you bring the bucket of balls? No but I got two right here
Where do keyboards go to have dinner? The space bar!!!
What did the math book say to the other math book?
Wanna hear my problems?
