Short jokes
What did the sex offender frog say to the other sex offender frog when a hot frog passed them?
Rrrrrapeit!
Why do orphans want to be communist?
So they would have a motherland.
Dream tweeted, and I quote, "Babies kick pregnant women all the time, but I do it one time and I’m the one arrested."
I know a good airplane joke, but it would probably go over your heads.
The twin towers: No, it won't.
People always said that if you killed a murderer, there would be the same number of murderers. Why stop at one?
My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car.
Mom: "I gave you life and you should be able to wash dishes."
Me: "Why did you?"
Mom: "I was very drunk..."
Explains a lot...
That awkward moment you try to relate to Batman by killing your parents.
When your friend asks why you don't smile, then you look at them and realize no one is there because you have no friends. #my life
Why don't blind people skydive?
Because it scares their dogs too much!
Why can't Indians play football? Because every time they take a corner, they make a shop.
Why are mountains always tired? Because they don't Everest.
What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? -- A moosician.
One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles. Once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, the snail said, "I don't know, it all happened too fast!"
Me: I kiss my mom on the lips.
Friend: Uh, I guess that's somewhat nor-
Me: Lower lips.
Friend: I gotta go.
What do you call milk that gets everything she wants?
Spoiled milk.
How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?
Ask them to pronounce "unionized".
Did you know the people in the twin towers were great readers?
Yeah, they went through 80 stories in seconds.
Roses are red. He shows no remorse.
Santa Claus Has joined the terrorist force.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a daredevil?
One has cunning stunts, whilst the other has a stunning...