Short jokes
What does your first football game and your first time having sex have in common?
You were bloody and battered but at least your dad came.
I can see Uranus from here, and it's mighty gassy!
Chinese kid was born before the due date. Parents name him "Sudden Lee."
Hey, wanna hear an abortion joke? Never mind, I can't deliver it.
Your forehead is so large, if I drew an H on it, maybe Kobe could've landed.
Click the 👍 if you hate school.
How do you get a fat girl to bed? Piece of cake.
Rape is such an ugly word, I prefer the term "struggle snuggle."
Hippity hoppity, Hiroshima, Nagasaki.
What happens when Stephen Hawking dies?
The Windows shutdown sound plays.
Two wrongs don't make a right, but what do two Wrights make?
The first airplane.
A priest and a pedophile walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Jim!"
Kid: Hey, what’s black and sneaky!
Social studies teacher: Harriet Tubman.
Raaj went up to his mom and said, "I bet you 10 dollars I can disappear." Then he turned off the lights.
So I heard it was important to clean your sex toys, which is why priests invented baptism I guess.
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.
What do you call an Asian prostitute?
Suck Mi Dong.
What’s the difference between a doctor and a pedophile?
The doctor doesn’t enjoy giving physicals.
I shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.
Q: Why did frosty pull down his pants?
A: He heard the snowblower coming.