Short jokes
The wife said, "Honey! Do you like my new teeth?"
The husband replied, "They remind me of stars, darling!"
"Yellow and far apart."
Where did Johnny go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
SON: “Mommy, I found Daddy!”
MOM: “What did I tell you about digging in the garden?”
Incest. A game the whole family can play.
Cannibal (n.) Someone who is fed up with people.
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spareribs!
Vagina jokes aren't funny.
Most of the time.
What did the football coach say when he went to the bank?
-"I want my quarterback."
Man, choking on sugar seems like the sweetest way to die.
After 40 years, Kobe finally learned to pass.
People in 1912: "Titanic is unstoppable, even God couldn't sink this ship."
God: "Bet, where are my icebergs?"
What is the Titanic's favorite mint?
Icebreakers.
What do fat demons hate? Exorcise.
Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?
Many soles were lost.
When I grow up, I wanna be like Lil Peep... Dead.
What do Paul Walker and I have in common? Neither of us have seen Fast and the Furious 7.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on juan.
Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.
If you're gonna razor yourself, you might as well have shaving cream.
What do you call a feminine cow?
A dairy queen.