Short jokes

What did the mentally retarded kid get on his test?

Drool.

What do you call a nut on a wheelchair?....A busted nut.

What do you call a feminine cow?

A dairy queen.

You want to hear some marriage jokes?

Don't worry, it's just a couple.

I would tell a scoliosis joke.

But that would be completely out of line.

What do gay men like cocks?

🍦🍦🍦 they like the cream filling 😋

Why do emos like yo-yo's? Cos they get strangled by the string.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

My asian neighbors dinner.

Incest. A game the whole family can play.

My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, "No, wait! I can change."

What do you call two transgender midgets having sex?

A microtransaction.

I told my friend ten puns to see what one made him laugh. No pun in ten did.

Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?

Many soles were lost.

what's the difference between my hand and my blade? my hand isn't sharp.

Therapist: So what brought you here today?

Wife: He's too literal.

Therapist: And you, sir?

Husband: My truck.

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

It’s not. Numbers aren’t sentient and are therefore incapable of feeling fear.

A lion, Johnny Depp, and a hockey player from Nashville all have one thing in common.

They're all Predators!

My life is like a broken pencil, it's pointless.

One time, the quiet kid hacked the speakers in a school. Next thing you know, "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster The People starts playing.

I can't find out where Stephen Hawking is from, I just can't place his accent.