Short jokes
When I grow up, I wanna be like Lil Peep... Dead.
How do you know when an orphan is lying?
When they say, "I swear on my mother's life."
If you're gonna razor yourself, you might as well have shaving cream.
What do you call a feminine cow?
A dairy queen.
Why did the strawberry cry? -- Because his mother was in a jam.
Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.
Today my stoner friend used my to-do list as a blunt wrap.
He was high on my list of priorities.
A man tried to shoot Adolf Hitler, but missed. Then Adolf replied, "Oh shoot, I did nazi that coming!"
Stop with the blind jokes... I don't see the point.
How does the man on the moon cut his hair?
Eclipses it!
What is the Harry Potter spell that aborts babies?
Fetus Deletus!
Why do basketball players like cookies? Because they can dunk them!
What do you call a bee that lives in America? A USB.
My girlfriend asked me if we could have anal sex, and I said, "What's that?" She said, "I fuck her ass." I said, "Oh, my uncle calls that shhhhh."
A priest, a rapist, a pedophile, and a homosexual walk into a bar.
He orders a drink.
Fortnite is like America... At one time it was good and free. Now it's neither.
This isn't a joke, but I'm a survivor and use humor to cope. I find these extremely funny, so please leave the people writing these alone 😭
What did the woman on the beach say to Michael Jackson? Hey, get out of my sun!
It's the season of giving, so I'll be giving up!
Why do four polish heteroflexable men like to suck on four of the cow's udders? Because a bull has only one.