Lawnmower jokes

How do you get your grass to cut itself?

Make it depressed.

A Mexican runs into a wall, what hits first?

His lawnmower.

How do you cut your grass without a lawnmower?

You dye it blue and it will cut itself.

My Dad was mowing the grass today. I looked out the window and saw him slumped over the lawnmower. Apparently, he was just going through a rough patch.

I wish my grass was emo, so then it could cut itself.

When I'm cutting my grass, want to know what it reminds me of? My arms and legs.

What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower?

Unemployed.

There is a Mexican sitting on a train.

The guy sitting next to him says, "I have a big dick."

The Mexican decides to get a lawnmower and some clippers. When he got off the train, the police found a dead body with no dick and pube hairs.

What’s the difference between my lawn and my wrists?

Nothing, I cut both of them.

I'm starting to wish my grass was emo.

Why?

So it would cut itself.

My fifth wife asked me to help her dig in the garden. Here we go again.

I wish my grass was emo, then it would cut itself.